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The Dell tolls for thee, three shames of the week and more damned clowns: The update for Oct. 5

Pretty quiet day in the sports world. But hey, some Texans met with Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner to discuss issues involving African Americans and what the Texans can do to be more involved. (As an aside, Mayor Turner finally came on our show a few weeks ago.  I like him and voted for him. He also called UH crushing Oklahoma week 1).

Rockets roll: Preseason basketball is about as meaningless as any preseason sport. But hey, the Rockets looked impressive.

So here are our three shames of the week:


No, Canada: As many of you know, I am married to a Canadian. I love the country. Love the people. Even if I am on wife 4.5 or even 5.5, I plan to retire there or work there some day. But their sports fans have issues. They take national pride way too far (especially in hockey events with Team Canada, but that is for another day). Last night was another embarrassment, when a fan threw a beer at an Orioles outfielder trying to make a catch. I know it is one person. But Jays fans also littered the field during Game 5 last year against the Rangers. There were the riots in Vancouver after they lost the Stanley Cup to Boston. The Jays have become the national team of Canada, which is cool. But enough “isolated incidents.” Check yourself, Canada. It’s a small group, but it is a complete embarrassment, akin to British soccer hooligans. Pretty sure this post is getting me banished to the couch for a week, but…Shame bell 1.


Great Britton: Speaking of that game, which the Jays won…What the hell was Buck Showalter thinking? You are in the 11th inning of a win or die game. You have the most unhittable reliever in baseball in Zach Britton. And he doesn’t see the mound at any point? The postgame explanation was pathetic. You work all year for this chance and leave your best bullet in the chamber. Shame bell 2.


The Dell tolls for thee: You might have heard this story on the air yesterday. I called Dell because the computer I bought from them just a couple weeks ago is faulty. They basically sent me a glitched computer. I wound up being told my warranty covers it, but they would send out a tech to fix it for $250 more. Or I could ship it to them for $178 because I had to send it to INDIA. What a bleeping scam. You send me a broken computer so you can get another two  and a half Franklins out of me? And there are NO service centers anywhere near me? Did Dell not start in Austin? The worst part was when I told the guy never mind I would just buy a MacBook and throw it away. He asks if I am a rocket scientist. (Imagine heavy Indian accent here). I am a little taken aback and don’t respond immediately. Then he goes into a sales pitch. “Well, with this computer you can be. You have the best computer we offer. You can do anything with it.” Yes, dickweed, except TURN IT ON. When I said that, he asked me if I knew how to turn on a computer. Yeah, that is a GREAT way to get me to be nice to you. (I admit it did feel good to actually yell at another human being for the first time in years).

I have been around a lot of scam artists and con men in my day, but this takes the cake.I have been a loyal Dell customer since the early 90s. Never again. No, I’m not a “rocket scientist.” But you can take your scam and shove it up your ass. I get outsourcing and trying to improve profit margin. But where will your profits be when you have no customers left? And I am ticked off enough now that I hate Bollywood, too.

Nice try, Dell. In fact, to Michael Dell and your entire empire? Shame bell 3.

Daily clown update: See, this is what happens when you let these clowns run wild. People make stuff up. I have decided this clown outbreak is an F Society-like, Mr. Robot group that is planning to ruin the world as we know it. As honest Americans, we must fight back. *Punch a clown today. Let them know we will not tolerate this.

*This does not mean actually physically assault a clown. Unless of course, you are threatened by it.


“People speak of the fear of the blank canvas as though it is a temporary hesitation, a trembling moment of self-doubt. For me it was more like being abducted from my bed by a clown, thrust into a circus arena with a wicker chair, and told to tame a pissed-off lion in front of an expectant crowd.”

— Hannah Kent



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