By DISCO BISCUIT
METRO needs to ban anyone who listens to music without headphones from public transportation.
A man was stabbed on my train last week causing a 20 minute delay and turning the platform into an all out zoo – and I can only assume the stabbing was a result of him listening to his music without headphones. People will say both of these gentlemen were high and generally just didn’t like each other, but I know differently. Riding the train is painful enough. It smells bad, people are constantly begging you for money or passing out on an entire row of seats and you might get stabbed. A meth head might hang a decapitated cat from the hand straps. (This actually happened.) I already have to deal with these things on a daily basis. And I do it because parking downtown is expensive and it freaking sucks plus I get my steps in and I feel like I’m doing my part to keep Houston from accumulating China level fog.
But every single time I ride the train someone gets on listening to ridiculously loud music without headphones. Every time. Sometimes multiple people, and their music blends together to make a sound that kind of resembles when your junior high band had their first concert performance. But worse because you know it’s not improving next semester. And I know what you’re thinking, “Wear headphones yourself, then you won’t be able to hear their music.” First of all, I do wear headphones. But I’m not J.J. Watt, people. I can’t afford BOSE headphones that are so effective at noise cancelling I can’t hear John Urschel explain how they work for Christ sakes. The music is SO LOUD I can hear it through my actual earbuds from across the train. Also, I’m generally riding with a child. And I’ve been told by multiple people that I look like an a hole if I’m completely ignoring her in public, so I only do that at home now. And listen, I’m not one of those people who thinks I can shield my daughter from everything and doesn’t expect her to hear curse words or see things that I maybe don’t want her to see, not even close. But when it comes to someone entering the train playing music with lyrics that would make Kim Kardashian blush at top volume, I think it’s gone a little far. There’s no sense of decorum in public anymore. People will do anything. I’m done with it.
So if anyone from METRO is reading this, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE IT STOP. Maybe reassign one of the ticket checkers or “safety guides” that roam downtown asking me if I need any help at 10 am on a Monday to this position. They could forcibly remove these inconsiderate people or maybe if you’re feeling extra generous just give out free headphones.