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O’Brien and the Texans in prime time? What could possibly go wrong?

Editor’s note: Jayoff288 is a longtime Houston sports fan with a nice sense of sarcasm that should play well on Houston Sports and Stuff. This is his first offering. Follow him on Twitter at Jayoff288 

By JAYOFF288

This is probably an appropriate time to apologize to Bill O’Brien. Being the dumbass that I am, I failed to remember that the NFL was about “winning.” I was under the impression that who you play, where you play, or how you play all factored into the “win.” Leave it to O’Brien to lecture me back to reality.

With the Raiders on deck Monday Night, it’s worth remembering that the Texans have performed quite well when the lights shined the brightest. Over the last three years in prime time game slots, Sergeant Coach O’Brien has had Texans ready to play. Look at these results:

10/24/16 @Denver L 9-27

10/16/16 Indianapolis W 26-23 (no idea how the hell they won this game)

09/22/16 New England L 0-27

12/13/15 New England L 6-27

11/16/15 @Cincinnati W 10-6

10/08/15 Indianapolis L 20-27

10/20/2014 @Pittsburgh L 23-30

10/09/2014 Indianapolis L 28-33

Winning, remember?

The Texans have a great shot at beating the Raiders on Monday Night Football.

It doesn’t matter that the Texans rank dead last in the AFC in points scored (161). Or that Brock Osweiler has the 3rd worst QBR in the league (49.5). Stupid of you to believe you need your best offensive player, DeAndre Hopkins. He has 45 Receptions on 89 Targets. That’s really good, right?  I mean the Texans are 6-3.

Ignore all of the statistics. Don’t let your eyes trick you. The Texans are winning. And under this regime, that’s all that matters. Beat up on the crappy teams, lose to the good ones.

Pay for your tickets. Buy your food. Sit back and enjoy the offensive fireworks.

The Texans are on their way to back-to-back AFC South Championships, with O’Brien leading the way. How dare you ask for anything more.

3 Comments on O’Brien and the Texans in prime time? What could possibly go wrong?

  1. HOME FREAKING RUN,,, LAUGHING MY ASS OFF

    LM

    Like

  2. Julian Rodriguez // November 15, 2016 at 4:11 pm // Reply

    This is awesome. I am sure you meant AFC South Championships, but spot on.

    Like

  3. Well, they did beat two division leading teams.

    Like

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  1. A question for the people, Texans, gambling plays (including tonight’s college game), Spongebob’s gay references and shames of the week: The update for Nov. 16 – Houstonsportsandstuff.com

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