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Texans playoff picture, recapping the weekend, a frozen penis and peeing in elevators: The update for Dec. 12

Brock and roll?

With yesterday’s clutch win over the Colts, the Texans playoff potential suddenly looks a lot better.

First off, let’s be honest; the Texans will not do anything in the playoffs if they get there. They will most likely be one and one, and if they do get a win, they will get waxed on the road in the second round. But making the playoffs is always better than not making it.

And even though they are tied with Tennessee, the Texans control their destiny. If they win out, they are in.

More likely, they realistically need to win their next two home games — against Jacksonville and a Cincinnati team they have owned in recent years — and they will probably be in. The Titans play at Kansas City next week, and it is hard to envision them getting out of there with a win. If they lose and the Texans win their next two, the finale in Tennessee will be meaningless because the Texans hold all the tiebreakers.

Yes, they will need better play out of their quarterback. But we have been saying that all year.

Now it is always possible the Titans upset KC, and it is just as possible the Texans lose to the Jags or Bengals. If the Titans do win, the Texans could still lose to the Jags or Bengals as long as they win the last game in Tennessee. Regardless, the path is there. The Texans only need to stay on it.

NFL recap: Some interesting games yesterday thanks to weird weather in several places. Here are snapshots of every game. For a fun look at the day, check out our friends at

Gambling recap: A solid 4-2 week (counting the Thursday game) and most importantly hit our two big plays for the weekend. The Falcons over Rams was our strongest play of the year and Army plus 5 vs. Navy was also a big play. Hope everybody cashed. Been a good year for Team Falcon investments.

Jacked up: No surprise, but Lamar Jackson won the Heisman Trophy. Is it just me or is this the most overhyped award in all of sports?

Rockets rolling: Don’t look now, but the Rockets have won six in a row. And they are playing better defense in the process.

Freezing your balls off? Or better yet, your penis? Is it really worth being an adventurer if this is going to happen?

Better to be pissed off? If you order food for delivery…well just know your delivery guy might pee in your elevator. 


“Because I feel as if I let it down. As if it needed something from me, I was its only hope, and now that hope is gone.’ ‘What penis doesn’t try to make you feel that way?”
― R.J. Silver


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