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Final gambling guide, coaching updates, Disney sex theories, a topless waitress and steroids, a Chargers hottie and more: The update for Jan. 13

A healthy Tom Brady makes tomorrow's game a difficult task for the Texans.

The last weekend of football with more than two games is here. It is a fun time, because we are down to the real Super Bowl contenders. It also sucks because after this weekend, we have just three games left.

The Texans are still alive, but face a tough task in Foxboro. The 15.5-point spread is one of the largest in NFL history. Let’s take a look at all the games, with gambling plays in mind. I don’t have any strong opinions this week. In fact, I am not sure I have more than a single play. But a lot depends on the weather, too. I have forced a few plays the last couple weeks because we are running out of games, which is a rookie mistake. One I will not duplicate. This will serve as the last gambling guide of the season before we turn our focus to Sam Houston Race Park next week. (And yes, the guides will be back next year, despite the grief I have endured over them. Pathetic people living at home with mom and masturbating to Taylor Swift videos will never stop me. Do your worst.)

Now let’s take a look at the games:

Seattle plus 5 at Atlanta: Like the other three games, this is a rematch of a close one the Seahawks took in Seattle, thanks in part to a no-call on a pass interference by Richard Sherman. The Seahawks are much better at home, however, and the Falcons have been terrific at home. Matt Ryan will likely win the MVP. But the Seahawks have that playoff pedigree. The ‘Hawks offensive line has been garbage all year, but last week Thomas Rawls went off, and Atlanta’s defense can be vulnerable. Ryan has a lot to prove; his playoff performances have not always been up to snuff. But he is coming off his best season, and now is the time for him to finally take the next step. This one will likely go down to the wire. I expect Atlanta to win it on a late TD or field goal, which is why I can’t touch the line. If you must, I would take Seattle and the points and not feel good about it. However, the Falcons have been money on overs all season, especially at home. The better play here is over 51.5, which we will hit small.

New England -15.5 vs. Houston: Vegas is giving the Texans no chance here, and most pundits think this is going to be a rout. When you consider how poorly Bill O’Brien’s teams have played in primetime and against the Patriots, it is hard to see this going any other way. But the Texans defense is playing at a very high level, and if they can somehow forced Brady to turn the ball over (good luck — he threw two INTs all year), the Texans might be able to keep it close and steal one late. The more likely scenario is the Patriots get an early lead, and pour it on from there. From a betting perspective, you simply can’t give 15.5 in the NFL. But I do not know what number it would take to get me on the Texans. More often than not with these big spreads, the favorite covers in the playoffs. As to the total, if you think New England covers, you should play the over. If Houston, the under. I won’t be touching any angle here.

Steelers plus 1.5 at Kansas City: Another great rematch. The Steelers destroyed the Chiefs earlier this season, but that was in Pittsburgh. This should be much tighter, although the Chiefs can’t afford to get behind, because offensively there is not a team outside of Foxboro that can go toe-to-toe with them on that side of the ball. The mitigating factor here is the weather. It is supposed to be Armageddon-like winter conditions. Vegas has already factored that into the total at 44.5. But keep an eye on this game day. If it is just cold and snowy, that actually favors the offenses. But if the wind is howling, that impacts the passing game, especially in concert with cold and freezing rain or snow. But it does not appear the forecast calls for high winds. So check it out beforehand. If it is just cold and snow, hit the over. If it is freezing rain, and heavy, it’s a pass. As far as the side, I like Pittsbugh, but not enough to play it.

Packers plus 4.5 at Dallas: If you have been betting against the Cowboys this year, you probably aren’t reading this because you are homeless under a bridge somewhere. The Cowboys have been money all year, and will be able to take advantage of a soft Packer defense. But this isn’t the same group that Dallas beat in Lambeau. Aaron Rodgers has been amazing since the team feel to 4-6. The result has been eight straight wins. This should be a terrific game that goes down to the wire. Not one I am all that interested in playing, but as with everything else, when it doubt, take the points. The over-52 might be my only play here. A lot depends on how things go Saturday with the Falcons and possibly the Chiefs over. Regardless, good luck.

Wade in the shade: Wade Phillips has a new job. The former Broncos/Texans/Cowboys/too many to list DC and head coach will take over as defensive coordinator for the Rams. Good for Wade, and good luck.

Not so fast...Reports earlier indicated that Chuck Pagano and Ryan Grigson were safe in Indy. But no one has made an official announcement. And now this intriguing rumor is making the rounds. If this were to happen, the AFC South would suddenly get a lot more interesting. It already has considering the changes in Jacksonville and the improvement in Tennessee. Stay tuned.

They love LA: But the Chargers new “official” logo is not going over so well. Many sports franchises trolled them last night. The best was from NHL teams, especially Tampa. You always hate to see a franchise leave, and I know San Diego people look down on LA, but it’s not like you can’t drive to the games. The city and the owner had plenty of time to get something worked out. Blame both.

College hoops: If you have not yet started paying attention to college basketball, here is a look at teams of interest in the Houston area heading into the weekend.

A whole new world: I am always a fan of Disney princess sex theories. Some of these are weird, some funny, some stupid, and most are NSFW (at least in terms of word usage) Enjoy.

Topless waitress and steroids: We can’t make this up. Just have fun with the story and supply your own punch lines.

QUOTE OF THE DAY 

The Texans will be shooting for the moon tomorrow night. So thought this famous JFK quote would be appropriate. You could easily replace the last line with “Why do the Texans go to Foxboro?”

“But why, some say, the moon? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask why climb the highest mountain. Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas?”

— John F. Kennedy

HOTTIE OF THE DAY

chargergurl

We will miss you, San Diego. Well, we will miss googling “hot Chargers fans.” It’s really a shame that we are taking advantage of the people of San Diego losing their football team so we can bring you a hottie. But that is what it has come to, sadly.

 

 

 

2 Comments on Final gambling guide, coaching updates, Disney sex theories, a topless waitress and steroids, a Chargers hottie and more: The update for Jan. 13

  1. Fred – based on the weather forecast as of 5:45 pm, would you hit the OVER for KC/PIT tonight?

    Like

  2. Yes

    Like

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