We interrupt the constant alerts about flooding and tornadoes on your phone (for those of you in Houston) with an update full of sunshine and rainbows. OK, maybe not, but we will do our best to keep you entertained.
We start with the Texans, who shuffled the defensive coaching staff, according to Albert Breer.
Linebackers coach Mike Vrabel will become defensive coordinator, with Romeo Crennel promoted to assistant head coach. At first blush, one might question why mess with a good thing on defense?
The reality is it is likely just a title bump for Vrabel to keep him from moving elsewhere. Crennel still being on staff will help Bill O’Brien with game management (he needs it) while working with Vrabel on the defense. It’s not a move that should impact the defense negatively. The critical move will come when O’Brien hires an offensive coordinator.
Bagwell day? The baseball Hall of Fame inductees will be announced today, and Jeff Bagwell should get in. Expect a story on the site if he does.
Heat stroke: The Rockets suffered another bad loss last night, falling to woeful Miami 109-103. The Rockets have now dropped three of their last four.
It’s a little early to push the panic button; teams go through this in the ebbs and flows of an NBA season. The Rockets were not as good as they showed in their win streak; they are not as bad as they looked last night. After Milwaukee tonight, the Rockets get Golden State and travel to Memphis, so they need to get the ship righted.
On to our three shames of the week:
By the numbers: OK, NFL, it’s time to change the Super Bowl from Roman numerals. First, when was the last time the Romans were relevant? Yeah, they were dynasty for a while, but much like the 49ers, they have become an afterthought. So why does Houston get Super Bowl LI? It looks ridiculous on the signs. Unless you are Jet Li, do you really want to buy one of these T shirts? Not for me.
Shame bell No. 1.
Mr. Ma-goo? According to a study, 40 percent of people in New York masturbate at work. I’m assuming New Yorkers are more disgusting than the rest of us. But still, at least three out of 10 of your co-workers are going to pop away for a quick one in the bathroom today if this study is to be believed. Maybe that grunting in the stall you heard was not simply busting a grumpie. For the record, I am against this, unless you are a fireman working two-day shifts or an oil worker off shore. But if you are just taking a break at your law firm, male or female…
Shame bell No. 2.
Eat away: If you think the work spankers are bad, how about a cook who makes soup out of the placenta from their baby? How is this even a thing? January Jones, the actress from Mad Men, made this famous when she did it. (And was promptly permanently removed from my “list.”) If this is something you feel the need to do, please do not share. You are sick, sick people.
Shame bell No. 3.
And finally…Houston is known for a lot of things. Humidity. Messed up weather. And apparently, rats and cockroaches. Thank Tebow for our friends in New Orleans or we would top this disgusting list. As an aside, do placenta eaters and office jackers count as vermin?
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“There is no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.”
— John Ruskin, who obviously never made it to Houston. (He lived in London. I’m guessing he did a lot of drugs).
HOTTIE OF THE DAY