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Click on this and you will help the economy (and maybe save a monkey’s life), Hall of Fame, Rockets, God Save the Queen’s hotties and more: The update for Jan. 19

Hi. I am a spider monkey. Did you know that every day thousands of spider monkeys are forced to fling poo at tourists and scream at them? Don't worry. You can help. By simply clicking on this story, you could potentially (although not really) save one spider monkey from this awful fate. Won't you please help?

It was a very busy, productive day on the site yesterday. We brought you a personal account of Jeff Bagwell making the Hall of Fame, a deeper look at the arrogance of the Texans, and one of the most bizarre daily updates ever. And in case you missed it Wednesday, a really cool brewery review of Under The Radar.

Why do we tell you all of this? Because A) you are busy people and we would hate for you to miss anything really good. B) It was a lot of work and we just wanted to let you know how much effort is happening to make the people happy. C) I needed a lead item for today’s update because I kind of burned the best topics in those stories yesterday. So yes, it is a bit self-serving. Some might argue even Bill O’Brien level arrogant. But there you have it.

I also want to take a second to thank everyone for their continued support of the site.  Thanks to you we have several new major advertisers coming in who will help us continue to try to entertain you every day. And yes, put some serious scratch in our pockets along the way. In a way, you are helping Houston’s economy. We will use that money on more beer and to bet at Sam Houston Race Park. (Shameless plug: opening day picks are coming later today). Or maybe I will buy a monkey. Or a wombat. Something that will terrorize the dog. And you made it possible, simply by clicking on this. Thank you!

Now on with the show…

Solid performance: The Rockets slapped around the Milwaukee Bucks by playing really good defense (yes, we said DEFENSE) and rolled to a 111-92 victory. You know the last time the Rockets held a team to 92 points or fewer? Dec. 10 against the Mavericks in a 109-87 win. So, actually, not that long ago. We just dropped one of those meaningless stats that people do all the time. Kind of pointless, really, but it gives the impression we know what we are talking about. “Look! It’s been over a month since the Rockets held a team to fewer points than the random number of 92 we picked because that was last night’s score!” What’s next? A slideshow of the Rockets 10 best defensive efforts of the season? “Click on the slideshow above for 43 meaningless Rockets photos that will give you 10 games that we picked at random with a sentence on each!” Gosh, who does that?  (Cough, cough, Regardless, a good win for the Rockets, who face the Warriors and Grizzlies in their next two. A split would be a good result.

So this is kind of cool: Scroll down a bit on this link and you know what you will find? A link to AJ Hoffman and myself discussing the Texans on The Blitz. We made If they ever post our four-segment debate on who is eligible for a celebrity death pool, I know we will have made it.

Here  we go again: The FOX Sports guys try so hard to make up stories. Skip Bayless is the king, but Colin Cowherd is not far behind. Tom Brady is playing for his job? The funniest part is the guy making fun of it is Mike Florio, who is in the top five of media fake hot takes guys himself. So we have a fake hot take where a fake hot taker is responding to the original fake hot take with a fake hot take of his own? My head is spinning…

And finally, god save the queens? Gotta give the English credit. They seem to be way ahead of us on bizarre stuff. They are like Florida with a snooty accent and pasty skin. Need a housekeeper? One who will clean in the nude? They have you covered…


“Anyone who doesn’t take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.”

— Albert Einstein, who was so bleeping smart he saw the Baylesses and Cowherds of the world coming decades in advance.



I did not want to post nude maids, because we are trying to be a somewhat respectable site. But a search of “hot English women” turned up this young lady. I do think she needs to mix in a burger. And I am not sure she is pasty enough to be English. And she kind of scares me, in the way that Brigitte Nielsen did as Drago’s wife in Rocky IV. But hey, this is for the people right?






2 Comments on Click on this and you will help the economy (and maybe save a monkey’s life), Hall of Fame, Rockets, God Save the Queen’s hotties and more: The update for Jan. 19

  1. Never disappoints…


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