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NFL Rules Changes, Lesbian Cutler, Kentucky Idiots, A Gun Up Bama Fans Butt and more: Your March 30 update

NFL RULE CHANGES

In case you hadn’t heard, the NFL made a bunch of rule changes. Some of them aren’t bad, some of them are dumb. Here’s a quick list and my designation for each:

NEW: Unsportsmanlike conduct/leaping – “This change outlaws the emerging strategy to leap over the line of scrimmage to block extra point attempts or field goal attempts.”

Barry’s ruling: Dumb

NEW: Intentional fouls/unsportsmanlike conduct – “Teams will now be penalized 15 yards, and the game clock will be restored, if they commit multiple fouls on the same play in an effort to manipulate the game clock.”

Barry’s ruling: Not bad

Stronger enforcement of penalties for “very egregious” hits – “The competition committee identified a handful of plays from the 2016 season that included hits so violent and so counter to existing rules that it wanted them ‘out of our game.’ No rules will change, but it will be a point of emphasis.”

Barry’s ruling: Not bad

New: Centralized replay review – “The final say on replay reviews and challenges now belongs to senior vice president of officiating Dean Blandino and his supervisory crew, who will work from the league’s New York command center.”

Barry’s ruling: Not Bad

Possible New Rule: Overtime shortened to 10 minutes – “This proposal was tabled for discussion later this spring. The idea is to limit the amount of additional snaps players are exposed to.”

Barry’s ruling: Dumb

Possible New Rule: Tweak in anti-celebration rules – “Initially, it appeared the league would “encourage” referees to interpret current rules more leniently and then distribute a video to help players understand the difference between legal and illegal penalties. Now, commissioner Roger Goodell wants to meet with a group of players before deciding how to verbalize the new approach.”

Barry’s ruling: TBD (But knowing Roger Goodell…DUMB)

Now that we got that out of the way, here are two rules that I think the NFL needs to adopt ASAP!

New Rule: Ban pointing after a first down – We’ve all seen it. A player gets a first down jumps up, runs down the field a bit and then dramatically makes the “first down” point. These attention whores are stealing the referee’s thunder by pointing for the first before he can. How great would it be to hear Ed Hochuli say, “Un-sportsman like conduct, number 88 pointing like an asshole and stealing my thunder. 15 yards form the spot of the foul and [you guessed it] NO FIRST DOWN!”I could go for that.

New Rule: Ban the Wave – If you do the wave at a football game – scratch that, if you do the wave at ANY sporting event – you can go to hell. Nothing in this world makes me happier than watching that one doofus try and start the wave and it doesn’t work. The wave is dumb and should have gone away in the 80’s.

Warriors defeat Spurs

The Spurs jumped out to a bajillion point lead (ok 23-3 to be exact) in the first quarter before faltering in the second half and dropping one to the Warriors at home 110-98. The Warriors avoid the season sweep and improve their record to a whopping 2-25 at the AT&T center. The Warriors beat the #3 (Rockets) and #2 (Spurs) teams in the NBA on back to back nights. They’ll have a chance to make it 3 in a row versus these two teams (and 10 in a row overall) when they face the Rockets at home on Friday (3/31). Pretty good for a team that’s without Kevin Durant, at least for now.

One stat I heard during the broadcast that blew my mind – the Spurs have made the playoffs in 37 of their 40 years in the NBA. I mean…that’s OK, I guess.

MORE SPORTS AND STUFF…

– Well THANK GOD the FBI is out spending our tax payer dollars tracking down Tom Brady’s missing jersey. As if we all needed another reason to hate Tom Brady.

– First Jay Cutler’s woman (Kristin Cavallari) posts a picture of him looking like “a 300lb lesbian” (her words, not mine) and then this NSFW back nude? NOT MY QUARTERBACK!

– If only Brock had moved like this in the pocket…

– Some dip-sh–s in Kentucky threatened a college basketball ref. because their team lost and John Calipari cried about it. Raise your hand if you’re really surprised folks in Kentucky are acting like morons.

– Teegan Harvey is 18 and her terrorist dad told her to wear a burqa to prom. She didn’t (thank goodness) and dare I say she is…the bomb. I know I shouldn’t say she’s hot as hell – and not because she’s underage (she’s 18), but because her dad might actually kill me – but she is hot as hell.

– A gun fell OUT of this dudes butt after crashing his truck and being arrested. Well ROLL DAMN TIDE, fella.

Quote of the day:

“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

– Joe Theismann

Hottie of the day:

HottieEatingPizza

I was hungry when I wrote this, so I Googled “hot chicks eating”

 

 

About Barry Laminack (22 Articles)
Talented, funny, handsome, creative, fun to be around, well endowed, great body,smart, liar.

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  1. Commonly misused words and phrases in political discussions, guns, Trump, no Romo and more good stuff: The update for March 31 – Houston Sports & Stuff

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