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Soccer matters, no Romo, small boobs, shame bells and more: The update for April 5

I’m all about sharing my actual life with y’all…
I was told to be professional while I covered the Dynamo game over the weekend. Of course I decided to share some of my best shots with you guys. Professionalism at it’s finest.

That’s me measuring my A1/2 cup chest..

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Oh, there’s me again eating a chocolate pretzel..

Hey Gabby!

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Some nice BEHIND the scenes action shots..

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Okay, enough of my skills.

Soccer Matters: The Dynamo did some major ass kicking on Saturday night as they hosted the New York Redbulls. If you guys haven’t had a chance to make it out to BBVA stadium yet, you’re missing out. Even if you don’t know much about soccer, it’s a great atmosphere. (And the pretzels are damn good. I’m a professional sports event food taster and currently working on getting my face on the $1 hotdog night tickets at the ‘Stros games… so you can trust me). Catch the game highlights and news here. Or just follow my good friend Victor on twitter @victoraraiza.

Breaking News: My man crush Rex Ryan (not so new news) and the glass house (Romo) have both retired from the field and decided to take on every toasted coach/player’s “last resort to staying relevant” job… Broadcasting.

The good news for me? The chances of my stalking paying off and actually meeting Rex has increased due to the media access… and my A 1/2 cup boobs and awesome smile. (Not that I would ever use sex appeal to persuade anyone to let me get near Rex. Women’s rights are so overrated).

Good news for you? (Assuming you’re a Texans fan because only horrible people that live in Houston cheer for other teams. GO EAGLES) At least you’re still in the crappiest division. And… I mean… Savage > Brock. (Side Note: I can handle a paper cut better than Romo. Cheer up buttercup, the glass house is washed up anyway. Think of it as a blessing in disguise).

Quick sportsy update:
Final Four: don’t pretend this was interesting, because it wasn’t.
Opening Day: The Astros won, that’s all you really need to know.
The Rockets: Are on vacation until tonight. (insert my fake excitement here)
Romo: Sucks. But if you’re THAT bored… you can read about his exciting and eventful career on the IR… I mean… His time as a Dallas Cowgirl.

Shame bell time? I think so. Is it just me or is Gronk starting to give you that J.J. Watt vibe? You know… that over the top, doing TOO much crap? As if being on the most annoying team in the NFL wasn’t painful enough to watch… The Patriot’s star tight end made his wrestling debut this weekend.

Shame bell No. 1

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These cats are trained to ring a bell when they’re hungry. This is just creepy…
Shame bell No. 2

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Reason 72 why I don’t attend the city zoo. A grandma gets hit in the face with poop… By a Chimp.

Shame bell No. 3

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Quote of the Day: (Absolutely nothing to do with today’s topics but felt appropriate) 

“When I have children, I’m going to make them watch the movie “2012” and tell them I survived that.”

– Source unknown but she sounds like we may be related

Hottie of the Day:

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Because small boobs matter… And Cameron Diaz will always hold us down.

About Holly (29 Articles)
Football guru/Professional MNF shit talker Welcome to Holly's world🏈💋 #FlyEaglesFly 🦅 Instagram this @hollysworldxo

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