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Hot dogs, sportsgasms, airplane shaming and more: The update for April 12

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Another update of my weekend for you guys. Of course, that’s not me in action again. I’m not as flexible as she is, nor are my friends as talented as capturing special moments like hers. BUT. The 34 minute time stamp accuracy is on point. And I have been known to pass out in that exact position.
Homeruns and Hotdogs: Tonight my (I mean OUR) Astros meet the Mariners for the 76th time this season. What have we learned so far? Devenski’s pitching > Gregersen. Besides Springer, does anyone remember how to… Oh… Let’s see… HIT? As much as I would love to describe awesome play-by-play action, I’ll stick to what I’m better at… Hotdogs. Chris can fill you in on ‘Stros talk in case you missed his post yesterday.

Did you guys actually think I would leave you without a selfie from the game?

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NBA: For the love of God is the season over yet? Per usual, click here for the SAME “Westbrook did this” so “Harden came back with this” crap. I say we just flip a coin. Heads Harden wins MVP, tails Westbrook takes it.
Sportsgasm: {Noun} The physical and emotional sensation experienced at the peak of sportsy excitation, usually resulting from witnessing a sportsy athlete or play that turns one on.

Example: See… Myles Garrett

I won’t bore you with my 23 pages on why I love this kid or how talented he is. BUT. He’s been on one this week. On Monday Garrett was supposed to appear on Mike and Mike but decided last minute to decline the interview because of Booger McFarland. Usually I would COMPLETELY roast a player for being sensitive but he’s officially found his way onto my good side. Lucky him. And, I completely DISAGREE with McFarland. I feel like Garrett is going to make a huge impact in the NFL.

Too bad he will most likely end up in the land of the cursed. No, not Houston. Worse. Cleveland. Poor kid won’t even be able to drink his sorrows away because not ONE thing sounds fun about Ohio. Do they even have bars? Do you get like neon VIP wristbands there? Do they even HAVE wristbands? So many unanswered questions.

Shamed: Jesus. These dogs have been in love for almost a year now and planning their wedding. What are the odds their marriage is successful? Double trick question here… What are the odds their owners are Caucasian? Check out their bad ass engagement photos! (Try not to tear up).
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Shame bell No. 1

This family saved $1 million to retire early… AND they have 3 kids. Meanwhile I’m single with NO children and my bar tab would probably consume 25% of their savings. Great read though! (Shame bell… You guessed it… For me)
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Shame bell No. 2

2 important dates in history that we Americans shall never forget:

February 5, 2017 (Superbowl LI) and Monday… In case you still want to purchase a flight on United, get your tickets here.

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Shame bell No. 3

Quote of the Day:

“If you don’t draft me No. 1, I will punish your team for the next 10-12 years.”

-Myles Garrett (Definitely a form of sportsgasm because that quote turned me on).

Hottie of the Day:

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Because Tiger Woods ex will always be one of my favorite divorced hotties… Not all of our dating lives can be as successful as those engaged dogs’.

About Holly (29 Articles)
Football guru/Professional MNF shit talker Welcome to Holly's world🏈💋 #FlyEaglesFly 🦅 Instagram this @hollysworldxo

2 Comments on Hot dogs, sportsgasms, airplane shaming and more: The update for April 12

  1. Garrett needs to grow some thicker skin. The comments that McFarland made were not that harsh because the reality is there is no guarantee of being successful. He has potential…by definition means he hasn’t done it yet. We all know he will get more criticism in Cleveland that he is getting right now. I wouldn’t draft him #1 just because of this diaper baby behavior.

    Like

  2. Holly, I guess you don’t approve comments that are contrary to the ones you posted.

    Like

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