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NBA playoffs, Astros bats, hilarious police blotters and more: Your April 13 Update


The NBA season is (finally?) over now and we know what the playoff picture look like.

The Western Conference matchups in round 1 are (my winner predictions in bold):

1 Warriors vs 8 Trail Blazers
4 Clippers vs 5 Jazz
2 Spurs vs 7 Grizzlies
3 Rockets vs 6 Thunder (Game 1 is Sunday, 8 p.m. central)

The Eastern Conference matchups in round 1 are(my winner predictions in bold):

1 Celtics vs 8 Bulls
4 Wizards vs 5 Hawks
2 Cavaliers vs 7 Pacers
3 Raptors vs 6 Bucks

My other season award predictions:

  • MVP: Russell Westbrook (He’ll win, but I think Harden should)
  • Defensive POY: Draymond Green (but my vote would be for Kawhi Leonard…with Rudy Gobert as my sleeper pick).
  • ROY: Dario Saric will probably win (But only because Joel Embeed only played in like 31 games. Other wise “The Process” would have won this going away.)
  • Coach of the year: Mike D’antoni. NOBODY thought the Rockets would be THIS good. No, not even you, you liar.

Astros Update: Bats are woke (kind of)

Baseball is a funny sport, especially at the beginning of the year. It seems like everyone was freaking out about Jose Altuve, but then like magic he goes 3 for 3 (and draws 2 walks) and his average jumps from .216 to .275 in one game. So yeah, it’s way to early to be worrying about ANYTHING baseball related…

…except the health of Colin McGugh.

The ‘stros beat the Mariners last night 10-5.

It was their first win after trailing by five-plus runs for the first time since May 15, 2008 at Giants.

The win also gave them a wining record through the first 10 games of the sesaon (6-4) for the first time in 11 years.


– I really like AJ Hinch as a manager, so I’m glad there is no truth to this rumor.

– The NFL draft is only a few weeks away. That’s great because I’m already sick of the mock drafts. I made this “NFL Draft Day Buzzword Bingo” card several years ago, but it’s still relevant today. Enjoy.

-Disco Biscuit weighed in on the life cycle of a viral superstar.

– If you haven’t ever checked out the Forest Grove Police Blotter, you really owe it to yourself to do so. Here are two  great examples from this hilarious weekly update:

  • Police responded to a neighborhood dispute which reportedly had escalated to throwing chili. Although some chili spatter was found at the scene, police were not able to build a criminal case.
  • Police responded to a local motel after screaming and yelling was heard inside one of the room. Officers found a man in the room by himself. The man said he was yelling at himself and just trying to work out some issues. He was asked to keep it down and work toward a resolution.


“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”

– Henry Ford



She came up on my show yesterday. Do yourself a favor and go browse her Instagram.

About Barry Laminack (45 Articles)
Talented, funny, handsome, creative, fun to be around, well endowed, great body,smart, liar.

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