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Bring back Astroworld, badass bombs and more: The update for April 14

By LAMONT MANN

Editor’s note: Lamont Mann is part of the weekly update team (Fridays) and also weighs in on a variety of subjects during the week. He is former military and a UH grad. Follow him on Twitter @sportsmedialm

Yearly, during the dog days of local sports talk radio, we must suffer a discussion about the Astrodome’s future.  I am reminded that the politics surrounding the Astrodome is a microcosm of the federal government. A yarn of bureaucratic red tape with no possibilities of a feasible plan.  However, this is not an article about the Astrodome; I want Astroworld back.   Every time I hear discussions about the Astrodome, I think “screw the Astrodome, what about Astroworld”?

I was eight years of age when I first went to Astroworld.  Houston Independent School District (HISD) would allow students with perfect attendance or honor roll to participate in an “end of year” field trip to Astroworld.  

After two trips, I begged my grandmother for a season pass.   Grandmother melted like butter and bought me a season pass.   From the age of nine until twelve, I owned a season pass.  With my season pass, I got to see a lot of concerts with supervision.   My season pass days were briefly interrupted when I was caught stealing and Astroworld suspended me for a year.  After a nice thrashing by my mother, a year later I was right back at the park having fun.

unnamed (1)I turned thirteen, and begin going to Astroworld with my uncles (they were a few years older than me) and all the neighborhood kids. We would start off with the low-profile rides like the Wagon Wheel, Gun Slinger, Cable Cars and gradually approached the bigger rides like the Sky Screamer, Excalibur, XLR8, Greased Lightning.  Scary rides like the Texas Cyclone, we would stand in line for hours and as our time approached to get on, everyone would get nervous but we hopped on anyway.   Scared to death, after the 120 seconds of sure death was over, we did it again.

As I got older (high school), I went with classmates.  As a teenager, it was less about rides and concerts and more about girls.  I “fell in love” with a new girl every week at Astroworld.  It was considered “real” love if you took a girl to the theater near the Texas Cylcone where you laid on your back in a dark room.  

After I graduated high school, Astroworld became a distant memory and I moved away.  While away, I visited other amusement parks.  Most amusement parks had similar rides with different names. I also noticed other amusement parks were not located in the city, they were on the outskirts of the city.   Astroworld was landlocked, there was no realistic chance of expansion.   

When I returned home to visit and eventually stay, Astroworld was nothing more than a cool visual as I drove Loop 610 West.  I never really cared for Astroworld as an adult but the minute it was demolished, I felt like a part of my youth was ripped away.  

Currently, I hear there are plans for a new amusement park in the works in North Houston.  Will it be Astroworld? No, but it’s something.  As the fourth largest city in America, we shouldn’t be reduced to NASA as one of the only significant tourist destinations.  

M.O.A.B

unnamedMother of All Bombs, kick ass sh–.  The days of fighting terrorists with remote control airplanes from Toys R us are over; we got bombs again.  Yes,  Donald Trump hit an ISIS bunker with one of the largest non-nuclear bombs in America’s arsenal.   Funny thing is, this particular bomb is known as the Father Of All Bombs but political correctness….

Freak show: If you ever want to get in Fred Faour’s cerebral, read this sh.  I thought of Fred as a regular dude; after I read his short novel, FREAK, and I like that.   The dialogue between the characters is strong.  The only thing this novel was missing was farm animals and a redneck named Joe Bob.

Horse collar? Pissed off that this story didn’t happen in Texas but a Florida horse kicked an alligator’s ass.  Whatevs, If it was a Texas horse, it would have eaten that reptile.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Touch my heart, feel my love,

don’t look at me.”

― Debasish Mridha

HOTTIE OF THE DAY

unnamed (2)

 

1 Comment on Bring back Astroworld, badass bombs and more: The update for April 14

  1. Brother Bear // April 14, 2017 at 6:48 pm // Reply

    Wow! I figured I was one of few who still liked AstroWorld!! I don’t care for the ‘Dome’ tear it down, truly!

    Great piece on AstroWorld and nice Foxy Brown!

    Like

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