News Ticker

Scary bunnies, the kids aren’t all right (in fact they are shamed) and oh, sports: The G rated (or is it G string?) update for April 19

Editor’s note: HOLLY XO has her own awesome football website, Holly.football. She’s funny, brilliant and fearless. She knows the NFL as well as anyone and loves her Eagles. She is a Roc The Mic finalist and has a great future in media. Follow her on Twitter at xoholly. You can learn more about her and the rest of the Sports and Stuff team here.
By HOLLY XO

Warning: This post is my only post that will ever be rated G… Holly loves the kids.

You probably won’t understand this picture unless you’re a woman who wears fake lashes and drinks entirely too much vodka on the weekends. What are the odds I just described myself? Never mind…

1.jpg

My Actual Life: So good news and bad news. Good news? Lent is over for those of you strong souls who survived. Bad news? I ate a whole cookie cake this weekend to celebrate. (Since I failed miserably at giving up booze)

Houston Sports: Are cursed.

Your Astros so far are not. As I’m sure you are fully aware, the ‘Stros will play the Angels again… tonight. Tomorrow. The day after tomorrow. Next week. And 17 other times next month. Here’s where they stand in the rankings right now. (That’s number 1 in the AL West in case you were too lazy to click).

The Rockets however, only play their opponent 12 times this week. Catch them tonight here at home. I’d love to have faith in them and show my deepest support but the way my just-kidding-you-thought-you’d-win-it-all radar is set up… Lets just say I’ve been fooled one too many times by the home team.

Speaking of home teams… Soccer matters. The Dynamo ended their game 2-2 against Minnesota United this weekend. They play again this Saturday against San Jose. Guess where? That’s right… They’re at HOME so you guys should go ahead and get your tickets here. Support one of the only Houston teams that won’t let you down… At least not all of the time. (Or just buy the ticket so you can see me taking selfies and blowing kisses to the players while I’m pretending to work. Whatever brings in the crowd).

Texans… Still managed to have done a whole lot of NOTHING, per usual. Who works harder than Rick Smith? The genius who takes time to make all of these memes, that’s who…

osweiler.jpg

This week the shame bells honor the kids…

Remember high school? Meet Sean. His parents were convinced he was skipping out on first period. They asked that he bring home a note from his teacher. Here’s Sean’s note… from his teacher. It’s still unclear as to if “Walker” is Mrs or Mr.

sean.jpg

 

Shame bell for Sean’s parents for not believing him. Clearly he’s a perfect attendance candidate.

download-3.jpg

This is my 3 year old niece. No, she’s not crying. She’s annoyed. This is the look you make when you’re being forced to do your third Easter egg hunt of the day. In the scorching sun. After she finally found a shade tree to sit under, my mom (Mimi) told her there’s more eggs. Her perhaps too loud response? “Damnit Mimi!” (Swear she may be my secret child)

mia.jpg

This Shame bell is for you Mimi. Get the eggs yourself.

download-3.jpg

This last Shame bell is for whoever thought dressing up as a life size bunny was at all “cute” or “comforting” to children.

easter1.jpg

Thanks to my friends for sending me these pictures of their children clearly enjoying every moment of this wonderful holiday!

Quote of the Day: 

“I’m not taking a picture with that stupid rabbit.”

– My 4 year old nephew

Hottie of the Day:

hilary-duff-chasing-the-sun-2014-1200x1200.png

Because Hilary Duff is the hottest mom ever. And because this post has to be rated G since I posted pictures of kids…

 

About Holly (30 Articles)
Football guru/Professional MNF shit talker Welcome to Holly's world🏈💋 #FlyEaglesFly 🦅 Instagram this @hollysworldxo

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: