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Rockets Take 2, Carmelo bangs a stripper, Antonio Brown is one lucky man and more: Your update for April 20

Editor’s note: Barry Laminack is one funny individual. He is host of The Usual Suspects with Joel Blank from 1-4 each day on ESPN 97.5.  He is a terrific stand-up comedian and frankly one of the funniest people you will meet. Check out his web site, for upcoming comedy shows and follow him on twitter @barryisfunny



It wasn’t pretty, but the Houston Rockets fought all the way back after being down by as much as 15 in the first quarter to beat the Oklahoma City Thunder 115-111 and take a 2-0 lead in the series.

The Rockets started off cold, going 1-10 from the field and 0-5 from behind the 3 point line, but got a spark off the bench when Lou Williams came in and drained a couple of threes; Nene also came in off the bench and added a couple of monster dunks. Both seemed to provide a spark that woke the Rockets up, and they would spend the better part of the next two-plus quarters clawing their way back into the game. James Harden hit a dagger of a 3 with about two minutes left to put the game away, save for some silly fouling and what not (including Adams fouling out with 1.9 seconds left. WHO FOULS DOWN 4 WITH 1.9 SECONDS LEFT?????).

Russell Westbrook played out of his mind, putting up 51 points, 10 rebounds and 13 assistesses (it’s a word, look it up! OK, don’t).

When asked about his stat line in the post-game press conference he replied, “I don’t give a f— about the line. We lost.”

As for the rest of the Thunder, after getting out-rebounded 56-41 in game 1, the Thunder were much more Thunder-like hitting the glass, pulling down 48 boards to the Rockets 37. The difference in the game however was bench scoring. The Rockets bench poured in 50 points, including 22 from Eric Gordon and 21 from Lou Williams (Nene chipped in the other 7). The Thunder bench managed just 24 points split between Doug McDermott (11), Jerami Grant (9), and Enes Kanter (4).

A couple of notes from the game:

  • During introductions, the cheers for Patrick Beverly were louder than for any other Rocket (yes, including Harden).
  • There were way too many empty seats to start the game; especially a playoff game. Get your sh– together Houston.
  • What do you do when you go 0-7 from behind the 3-pt line in game 2? If you’re Ryan Anderson, you stay after the game and shoot 3s.


– The Astros beat the Angels 5-1. Dallas Keuchel went 7 innings, gave up one earned run, one walk and fanned seven.  He has lasted seven innings in all four of his starts, going 3-0 along the way with a 0.96 earned run average. He’s looking like the Cy Young winner of 2015 and, while it’s still early, if he keeps pitching like this you should start saving for playoff tickets now, kiddos.

Carmelo Anthony (allegedly) got a stripper pregnant. Forget the fact that he’s married. Forget the fact that he said of his marriage, “She’s married, I’m not.” I want to know why he (or anyone else for that matter) is raw doggin’ it with a stripper. That’s how you get kids and herpes, both almost impossible to get rid of. Be smart, folks.

– Speaking of baby mama drama, Antonio Brown is having some of his own. But if you saw his new woman…well…I mean…I get it.

Aaron Hernandez hung himself, and if you’re expecting me to be sad or feel sorry for him, I won’t. He murdered a person (OK, two if you count himself). I just wonder why he didn’t hang around to see his last appeal go through. HEYOOOO! TRY THE VEAL! GOODNIGHT!

– Remember when Nelly had everyone talking like idiots? Yes, I’m talking to you over thurr. He even had other rappers like Chingy and J-Kwon making songs that made them sound like idiots. Ahh, those were the bad ol’ days. 

Comedian Aries Spears got beat up LIVE ON AIR. Go watch the video and let it be a reminder that sometimes, you can say too much; and that’s when the knucks fly. 


“Never trust a big butt and a smile”

-Bell Biv DeVoe



I mean, I kind of had to post a picture of Jena Frumes, right?



About Barry Laminack (45 Articles)
Talented, funny, handsome, creative, fun to be around, well endowed, great body,smart, liar.

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