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Astros win! Rockets win! And some Met Gala outfit fun. The update for May 2

ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX POINTS. Rockets/Spurs game one was a good old fashioned ass whooping. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Rockets play that well at any point this season. San Antonio couldn’t get anything going, and the Rockets ball movement and rebounding were spectacular. If they play four games like that they’ll win the series – obviously. But they won’t. The Rockets had six players score in double digits including double doubles from Harden and Capela, who played poorly against the Thunder in the first round.

This was a perfect game for the Rockets and it was so exciting. I’ll be interested to see how they play Wednesday night. I didn’t give them a shot to win this series, and since I’m still pessimistic Disco Biscuit part of me still thinks there’s no way it happens. But if we see more offensive play like that with limited turnovers and solid rebounding and defense anything is possible. Things also got very heated toward the end of the game and Nene was ejected. Was he really grabbing Dedmon’s throat? You be the judge:

Gambling update – I bet the Rockets overs on the previous three games against OKC and of course they didn’t hit so I bet the under tonight. I was ready to hedge after the first quarter was over. But Rockets +5 ½ saved me. These two teams met four times during the regular season and those games were decided by a combined total of 12 points. And I’m never betting the under again. It’s no fun – you’re basically rooting for people to not score.

NFL stuff – I know everyone is so over the draft, but I want to give my two cents. I was a concerned with trading up to get Deshaun Watson, though I do think he’s a very solid quarterback. The Texans best bet is for Savage to not snap into a million pieces during preseason so that Watson has time to learn the offense. The Falcon assuaged my fears slightly in his draft write up from day one. You can also find days two and three if you haven’t had a chance. I listen to a hilarious podcast from the guys over at Barstool called Pardon My Take. On the Wednesday before the draft they had Ian Rapoport on the show and he basically said that Jay Cutler wanted to play for the Texans but they weren’t picking up his phone calls. At the time when I heard that, I instantly thought they were going to be in the market for a quarterback in the draft but was flabbergasted when they traded up to take one. Here’s hoping that this is the right choice. If it’s not, you’re basically screwed. They don’t have a pick until Round 3 of next year’s draft and it’s time to get it right at that position. We’ve been waiting long enough. I’m a 7/10 excitement level for this pick, but realistically a 6/10 it will actually mean anything good for the Texans.

Houston finally gets the Rangers monkey of their back. Very solid pitching performance from McCullers last night. He struck out ten batters and got the run support he needed to get the Astros the win. I also loved a good benches clearing situation:


It’s a good thing for Lance that no baseball players actually ever fight because Mike Napoli would have beat that ass. The fact is that the Rangers are playing abysmal baseball but they generally have the Astros number even when they’re playing at their best, so I can understand things getting heated.
The Met Gala was last night, and what the hell are these outfits?


I heard Bella Hadid was sewn into this doily onesie so you can kiss eating or drinking anything during this long affair goodbye. Also what the hell is that pose??


Ugh this chick is the worst! She physically tries her best to look her absolute worst at all times. This dress is a disaster – it looks like something my mom would wear to prom in 1974.


I can guarantee you that Madonna has never worn camo unironically in her entire life. Somewhere there’s a joke in here about her career being invisible just like her dress or something. Maybe Barry Laminack could craft it – help!


I am only adding Solange because she looks like she’s wearing one of those sleeping bags that you can physically wear when it’s super cold outside. Hideous.


Rihanna looks like she’s carrying her clothes to a laundromat in this picture, but she’s still Rihanna so I’m going to let it go.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

I saved P. Diddy for last specifically because I cannot stop laughing at this photograph. He looks like a character from Interview with a Vampire got fed up that no one would talk to him at a party and now he’s just lounging in his Christian Louboutin shoes waiting for a damsel to come strike a conversation with him so he can drain her of her blood in a deserted alley in New Orleans.

Quote of the Day:

“It’s Friday! Yey!” – Gregg Allman on Twitter Monday.

Hottie of the Day:


Rihanna doing Rihanna things.

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