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No Rockets sweep, Astros might sweep, Katy Tollway sucks, a lady trading sex for nuggets and more: The May 4 update

ROCKETS

Well, so much for the sweep.

The Spurs decided to show up for game 2 and even the series at 1 game a piece. The Rockets hung around for 3 quarters, despite James Harden going cold and missing 8 shots in a row at one point.

Down by 10 at half, the Rockets came back in the 3rd quarter and would cut the lead to as little as 3. That would be the closest the Rockets would get as the Spurs would get stingy on defense, limiting the rockets to just 13 fourth quarter points. The Rockets missed their first 6 shots in the 4th and didn’t score their first points of the final quarter until 8:19 left in the game. By then the Spurs had pushed their lead to 97-83 and never looked back.

Bad news for the Spurs though, as Tony Parker went down with a knee injury. He’ll have an MRI today, but Spurs coach Gregg Popovich said of the injury, “it’s not good.”

Last night’s loss in the River City was the first time the Rockets have not reached 100 points in these playoffs, and only the 6th time  all year they failed to hit the century mark.

ASTROS!

The Astros put up a 10 spot on the Rangers last night and have now won three straight against their instate rival. The Rangers fall to 8 games back and while there is still plenty of season left, losing Cole Hamels for 6-8 weeks and not getting Adrian Beltre back until late May (at best) could make it nearly impossible to catch up.

Oh by the way, with the win, your Astros now have the best record in the majors at 19-9.

THE KATY TOLL WAY IS A SCAM

So I’m in San Antonio this week, performing at the Rivercenter Improv. I left the ESPN 97.5 station after my show (4 p.m.) yesterday and it took me almost 4 hours to get to San Antonio. Why? Glad you asked. Because I-10 between 610 and 99 is a sh– bag of a highway.

I thought I would be smart and save a little time be using the tollway on -10. I mean, after all, why sit in traffic for free when I can pay to whiz past all of these broke, traffic fighting losers RIGHT?

Welp.

That was dumb. I paid $5 to sit in MORE traffic than all the smart people not paying. At one point, I (sitting still on the tollway) was passed by a grown man on a scooter calmly inching forward in the main lane traffic.

A F*&^ING SCOOTER.

So F*&^ you Katy Tollway. Who ever thought you up can go to hell.

MORE SPORTS AND STUFF…

– A Hot Miami Chick Was Arrested After Going On Dates With Guys, Drugging Them, Then Robbing Them

– Oh Chad. Chad, Chad, Chad, Chad, CHAD! The NFL’s newest Mr. Irrelevant, Chad Kelly, was (once again) trolled by Mia Khalifa again.

This woman was willing to trade sex for chicken nuggets…oh, and $25. I mean, it’s not like she’s some cheap lay. 

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.”

– Tracy Morgan

HOTTIE(S) OF THE DAY

SAWomen

I Googled “sexy women in San Antonio”. These results further prove that Barkley doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

About Barry Laminack (28 Articles)
Talented, funny, handsome, creative, fun to be around, well endowed, great body,smart, liar.

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