I’ve come to conclusion there’s a meme to express the accuracy of each day of my life. Let’s just say I was #7 around 3am and #9 when I woke up.
If this were my journal it would read…
Saturday 8:17am – the day after a Mexican holiday. Brutal. I woke up missing an eyelash and wiping vodka drool from my cheek. Sexy, right? Trip to CVS for the basic necessities of everyday life with drunk Holly. (See pic below).
Do you ever stop to look at your purchases sometimes and think how ridiculous you look? Kind of like when murderers buy duct tape, bleach and gummy bears. Anyway, let’s get sportsy…
National Boring Association (known to you guys as NBA): Y’all are still watching basketball? Of course you are… because this is the sport that never ends. Cinco de Mayo y’all hated me because I rocked my Spurs gear and we killed Houston. Monday night I hated me because I rocked my Spurs shirt and Houston embarrassed SA. I’m 50/50 from the free throw line like (insert random half ass, yet highly over paid star here). Last night? I don’t know, I fell asleep. Why are we still even talking hoops? It really doesn’t even matter. Your Rockets… My Spurs… OUR seasons are toast after this series anyway. Let’s just give Golden State their stupid trophy and call the season a wrap…But if you must know, the Rockets are done thanks to old man Ginobili.
If you missed the Dynamo game Saturday:
1) We are no longer cool because I told your cheap ass to come support one of my favorite Houston teams.
2) You missed a heck of a game. Dynamo destroyed Orlando 4-0. My boys are looking pretty good right now. A breakdown of the game is here.
How about those ‘Stros: The guys are hitting well and still sitting comfortably on top of the West. What’s even better? The Rangers are at the bottom. *evil grin*
In case you were wondering: 120 days until the NFL season begins…
On tonight’s episode of basketball wives (thanks Mal)… I mean the Celtics reunion… I seriously thought I accidently clicked on the VH1 reality TV link. This shame bell goes to grown men sitting in a circle spilling their hearts out…
Shame bell No. 1
Ever cared to know the random, weird sports that never quite made it? Although, I must admit, I am very intrigued with the redneck games and the beer can regatta… I could have been a star professional athlete. Who would have imagined?
Shame bell No. 2
And we thought drug dealers didn’t have an artistic side… Meth art. (Of course, this story is based out of… Florida)
Shame bell No. 3
Quote of the day:
“Why?” – My liver
Hottie of the day:
…Because I’m about to get my lady parts tattooed (Fred, this is your cue to block my grandma from this website)