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The Torchy’s Taco adventure, Texas being Texas, homeless in Houston, Rockets doneski and more: The update for May 11

By LAMONT MANN

Editor’s note: Lamont Mann is part of the weekly update team (Fridays) and also weighs in on a variety of subjects during the week. He is former military and a UH grad. Follow him on Twitter @sportsmedialm

I love tacos, especially the ones without hair.   Tacos are like hamburgers and breakfast.  There is not a lot of variation, if you had one, you had them all and they are best homemade.

Over the last year, my friends have mentioned Torchys and how good they are.  One night, my wife and I were riding and noticed a Torchys on 59 South and Highway 6 near First Colony mall.   

Last weekend, I had my son to drive me to Torchys.

The layout was nice but the environment was loud and tons of men in skinny jeans.  Instantly I recognized I was in a young people hangout.   

I ordered 15 or so tacos for approximately $70 plus Queso.  Yes, Torchy’s tacos are not cheap.  Based on the hype from friends and the price, I knew I was about to eat the best tacos in the world.

I ordered multiples of Democrat, Republican, Trailer Trash- Extra Trashy, Brushfire, and a regular Fajita Taco.

unnamed (5)The first one I tried was The Republican.   I opened it and saw a big ass weiner in melted cheese.  If I am being honest, I was not happy about a weiner taco.  I didn’t even attempt to eat that sin.  I gave it to my puppy.  I’m a Christian and I was not about to partake in that sin.

unnamed (4)Next up was the Democrat.  The Democrat tasted like a waxy brisket.  I am not sure but I think the Democrat is Barbacoa.  It’s beef that looks like brisket but does not taste like brisket.  I ate one or two bites before giving it to my puppy.

After experiencing the Democrat and Republican, I must admit, Torchys was not looking too good.  The one taco multiple people recommended was Trailer Trash.  Trailer Trash was good.

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It’s a big clump of chicken.  It was so good, I ate two.

Frobeus (a twitter friend) recommended the Brushfire.  

unnamed (2)He warned, it’s hot.  At this point, that warning didn’t resonate because all their tacos were spicy.  Just like the ones before, I opened it and noticed mango fruit chunks and thought, “this is interesting”.  I bit into it and for a few seconds, I was in heaven until the heat kicked it. Brushfire is a cute name for this taco, it should be named Surface of the Sun.

unnamed (3) I loved it but I couldn’t eat all of it.  

I live tweeted my whole Torchy’s experience.  A few people advised me of Torchy’s Secret Menu.

I must say, Torchys is not your traditional taco.  They have a wide variation of meat but it’s not a place I would kill to frequent.  It’s not bad, not great, just different.

In the world of Tacos, the single best innovation was Taco Bell’s Dorito Tacos.  Dorito tacos is some crap I ask myself, how could this not exist?

Texas being Texas

Greg Abbot, Texas Governor made Sanctuary Cities illegal and the SMJWs (Social Media Justice Warriors) were outraged.  I mixed it up with a few, and the statement most repeated, “you are ripping people from their families” because the conversation eventually morphed into deportation.  When I hear this statement I always ask, did the same people make a decision to leave their families when they sneaked into the country?

Houston Mayor’s War on Homeless

Don’t give me the bull.  Houston’s city government is anti-homeless and it’s pathetic.   Former Mayor Annise Parker made law by fining citizens who feed the homeless in specific area.  Current Mayor Sylvester Turner has went even further by telling citizens not to give them money.   I suspect this too will eventually become law.  All of this is nothing more than a revenue stream.  They do not care about the well being of the homeless or citizens, it’s simply a new way to pull money into the general fund.  Always follow the money. It just so happens Houston’s Retirement Plan is hurting; Surprise! It pisses me off because the government can take your money and redistribute it and think that’s OK but if a citizen decides to offer his money to citizens, it’s wrong.  Something is very funky about this thinking.

Urine

As of today, I refuse to say I have seen it all because obviously, I haven’t.  I love innovative thinkers and what one of my friends witnessed in inner city Houston tops the cake.   Want to beat a Urinalysis, call this person.   As I looked at the advertisement, I wondered if it was illegal and I couldn’t see how.  Honestly, I want to call them just to troll.

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Barry Laminack/San Antonio Spurs

Act like you been there?  Not quite.  Barry Laminack explained how he was in San Antonio during the Spurs win over the Houston Rockets.  According to Barry, Spurs fans celebrated in the streets when they beat the Rockets in a playoff game.  WTF, the Spurs have skins on the wall, why are they celebrating in the streets over a second-round playoff win?

Speaking of which…

The Spurs made quick work of the Rockets on Thursday night. Not much to say about this other than the Rockets did not show up at all. Series over. 

QUOTE OF THE DAY

The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.

— Friedrich Nietzsche

HOTTIE OF THE DAY

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