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Tigers tame the Astros, authentic and outrageous, $260 dog fart and more: Your May 25 update.

Tigers Tame the Astros

For the second day in a row, the Astros were without the services of Carlos Correa who has not been feeling well. They could have used him as the Astros offense managed just 3 runs, losing to the Tigers 6-3.

Charlie Morton had another solid outing giving up 2 runs over 7 innings (his second quality start in a row). He didn’t have his best stuff giving up 3 walks and a wild pitch (his first of the year) that scored a run, but he hung in there and kept the team in it, leaving tied 2-2.

Chris Devinski came in in the 7th inning and gave up 2 runs putting the Astros down 4-2.

New comer Jordan Jankowski made his major league debut. I’ve heard good things about Jankowski, but his debut wasn’t a good one. The good news is, he struck out the side. The bad news is he gave up a triple and HR between the second and third strikeout.

Alex Bregman added another late inning homerun (his 3rd of the year and 2nd in 4 games), but after an “Aoki Pokie” to left, Jake Marisnick flied out, ending the ballgame.

The announced attendance for the game was a respectable 26,481. Call it a hunch, but I think the draw was the $1 hot dog (4 per person, per trip) and not the Tigers. And judging by the lines, there was plenty of cheap weenies consumed last night.

By the by, if you’re thinking to yourself, “It seems like every time I watch a Marwin Gonzalez at bat, he sees a lot of pitches” that’s because he does. He leads the Astros in pitches per plate appearance (4.38). I know, I would have guessed Aoki or Altuve also.

Authentic and Outrageous

There is a small shop in Minute Maid Park that sells “authentic” Astros game used merchandise. From game worn jerseys by your favorite Astros (some even complete with dirt stains), to balls, to bases. You can pretty much find anything in this shop. It’s not cheap though; in fact, after seeing some of the prices, I fully expected I was going to have to fill out a credit app to qualify for financing of some of this stuff.

Here are a few examples of what’s available, and what it cost:

  • game used (and broken) Yuli Gurriel bat: $350
  • Game worn (and dirty) George Springer jersey: $1000
  • Game worn Josh Reddick jersey: $750
  • Used ball from May 20th, top of the 1st when Lindor singled off Fiers: $300
  • The ball from when Beltran fouled off a pitch from Zimmerman on 5/23 in the bottom of the first: $35
  • Dirt (yeah…DIRT) from Tal’s Hill: $25

OTHER SPORTS AND STUFF…

– This dude paid $260 so his dog could fart at the vet. SMH

– Here are the 30 worst signings of 2016 in the NFL. How the **** is Brock not #1?

Ric Flair dissed Lavar Ball, and I like it.

– Meet the Grammy award-winning Nick Saban doppelganger

– The “Cash me outside, how bow dah” chic is gong on tour. And no, it is NOT comedy, I don’t give a sh– what they try and call it. Oh, and take a look at her backstage demands.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“…the best way to describe Joe DiMaggio, he was a penis with a man hanging from it.”

– Pete Rose

HOTTIE OF THE DAY

Screen Shot 2017-05-25 at 12.22.36 AM

If you haven’t checked out Yanet Garcia on Instagram, you done goofed.

About Barry Laminack (22 Articles)
Talented, funny, handsome, creative, fun to be around, well endowed, great body,smart, liar.

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