The white hot Astros are off to a fast start. They are 42-16 – only the third team to win 42 of their first 58 games in 30 years. They show no signs of slowing down. Week after week I wait for the inevitable slump, but it hasn’t come yet. The national media has picked up on how good they are, but they aren’t a team with a huge national following so for the most part they are flying under the radar and I love it.
All of the Astros are hot. But who is the hottest? I pulled up their roster, and here you have it. The official Disco top five hottest Astros:
5. Jose Altuve – I know he’s small. But so am I, so I’m fine with it. Also, I checked his stats online before I wrote this to make sure I had the right height, and there is simply NO WAY he is 5’6″.
4. Marwin Gonzalez – he’s got those sleepy eyes, and the perfect amount of facial hair. Yes please.
3. Orbit, the mascot – just an adorable mascot. I bet he would make you laugh so hard on a date without saying anything. I also want to dance to Single Ladies with him. Sorry (not sorry) for the NSFW photo.
2. Lance McCullers – I mean obviously. Look at his hair all messy. I’m a sucker for the messy hair.
1.Jake Marisnick – I originally set out to complete this list with Lance McCullers in the top spot. But then I started looking into it more, and Jake Marisnick is a babe. He’s from Southern California, so you know he surfs. He’s rocking the stubble, which can be better than a full on beard, and I like that his long hair is always messy. Certified Disco hottie.
Honorable mentions – George Springer, Dallas Keuchel, and Carlos Correa. These three are decently attractive, don’t get me wrong. But they all 100% confirm my long held theory that there is not a man on this earth who does not look better with a beard.
JJ Watt doesn’t think he should have been voted the 35th best player in the NFL for 2016 because he was hurt and played three games. JJ could probably get like 10 sacks from a hospital bed, and just because he’s injured doesn’t mean the players don’t recognize how great he is, but it does show that in the NFL, it’s all about name recognition even among the players.
As a parent, I very much advocate teaching your kids tough lessons. I mean, I’ve let baby biscuit fall off a chair because she wouldn’t listen to me when I told her 50 times that she was going to fall sitting that way. A tough lesson sure. When she gets older, will I overdose on heroin as a warning of how dangerous it is? Probably not. Can’t say the same for this dad. I applaud the effort here, raising teenagers is tough – but just maybe he went a little overboard this time.
It’s Pride Month, so I’m going to take a minute to talk about an organization I’ve been working with for a couple of years. Montrose Grace Place provides homeless youth ages 13-21 of all sexual orientations and gender identities with a once weekly home cooked meal served family style, an activity, clothing closet, and a safe space off the street. We rely completely on donations from the public, if you’re interested in learning more about us, and the work we do, you can do so here.
Quote of the Day:
“I don’t read the script, the script reads me” – Tropic Thunder
Hottie of the Day: