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Drunk Holly does it again, too early to panic on the Astros, soccer matters (sort of) and shames of the week: The update for June 14

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This could be me, except I’m not that responsible. 

By XO HOLLY

Self note: Stop getting drunk and losing your life.
I’ve literally managed to lose a passport and 3 valid drivers licenses somewhere in bars across this fine United States of America. This weekend was no exception. Chalk up another loss for drunk Holly.

Speaking of drunk Our Astros are in and out of another funk. Don’t stress out yet Houston fans… Let’s give the guys a few more shots before we go all typical H-Town on them. Baseball is a LONG season… sit back, relax and enjoy the $1 hotdog nights like tonight.

There’s absolutely nothing sportsy worth covering so I’ll take it down a notch to the pretend pro’s… (me and my sister)

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Soccer Still Matters: I started soccer again with some old teammates. I haven’t played since high school so I knew I was in for a rude awakening. Here’s HOW rude… I learned…

  1. I’m toast. Like “Harden or the Dallas Cowgirls in a game that actually matters” toast.
  2. It IS possible to lose a game of soccer by double digits (we looked awfully Cavalier-ish. Aka the Golden State of League City soccer showed us the definition of ball).
  3. I can still run (kind of.. which is a bit surprising considering my lungs & liver are going to need a transplant in the next 3-5 years due to excessive partying)

Lady Ballers: Admit it, by this time of the year we’re all having major football withdrawals. I was so excited when I got invited out to watch some women kick ass on the field this weekend. You guys definitely need to go out and catch a game. I’m a sucker for hard hits and attractive chicks. Need I say more? Safe to say, I think they liked me too. Check out the Texas Lady Jaguars!

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Guys Gone Wild: I mean… I don’t know… this looks a lot like my current love life… shocking, awkward and creepy. I’m leaning more towards being David West here, he doesn’t seem to be enjoying any of this situation…

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Drunk dialing 911 just to chat? (Making a self memo to do this next time I want to drunk text my ex)…

Shame bell No. 1

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I hate swimsuit shopping so this is going to be my next option… A hairy chested man one piece? Sounds kinky…

Shame bell No. 2

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This last shame bell is for my parents for not helping me make it to the pros because I could have a lifetime supply of free crab cakes like Jeremy Maclin…

Shame bell No. 3

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Quote of the Day: 

“I think someone slipped drugs in my drink again… For the 7th time this month.” – Me (hungover)

Hottie of the Day:

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…I’d leave every one of you and never talk to y’all again for her.

About Holly (34 Articles)
Football guru/Professional MNF shit talker Welcome to Holly's world🏈💋 #FlyEaglesFly 🦅 Instagram this @hollysworldxo

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