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Astros on the road, Home Run Derby snubs, I did the 999 Challenge, Angel Hernandez is suing MLB, pizza bikini and more: The July 6 update

By BARRY LAMINACK

ASTROS

So the Astros are rolling, what’s new? I won’t belabor the point, but they are pretty good. After sweeping the Braves in a short 2 game series in Atlanta, and having now played 40 games on the road, they are the only team in the majors that hasn’t reached double digits in road losses (that’s 31-9 if you’re scoring at home).

The next closest team (in road losses) is the Twins with 15.

HOME RUN DERBY SNUBS

Logan Morrison is pissed that Gary Sanchez got invited to be in the MLB Home Run derby and he didn’t. I don’t blame him. Sanchez had a hell of a run at the end of last season, but that was last season. This year the Yankees catcher has 13 home runs; meanwhile Morrison has hit 24 long balls, putting him 4th among all AL hitters.

I’d be pissed too, and there is no doubt some validity to his claim that this is par for the course when you play for the Rays.

Sanches responded to Morrison rant, saying “It’s not my fault he wasn’t selected.”

side note: how awesome would it be if Sanchez doesn’t hit a single home run in the contest. 

Speaking of snubs, the fact that Eric Thames didn’t get an invite is also stupid. Even after a slow May and June Thames has hit 23 home runs so far (tied for 3rd in the NL), but guys like Charlie Blackmon (18) and Justin Bour (19) got invites?

I’d be willing to look past Bour since he’s a Marlin and the game is in Miami (but on that note why not let Ozuna play, at least he is tied for 3rd in the NL with 23 long balls), but Blackmon? C’mon now, Thames should be in his spot.

Here are your seeding and participants for the 2017 derby:

HRDerby2017

My Attempt at the 9-9-9 Challenge

Back on May 30th Disco Biscuit introduced us to the 9-9-9 challenge. Because I like food challenges, as soon as I read her post I wanted to give it a try.

Well, July 4th was the day.

If you don’t know what it is (go read her post first, dummy), it’s basically eating 9 hot dogs and drinking 9 beers by the end of a 9 inning baseball game.

I purchased 2 packs of the Bar S hot dogs (stupid 8 per pack). I bought these not because they are delicious but because they were the skinniest at the store.

My beer of choice for this was Bud Light. I chose this for a few reasons:

1) I like Bud Light. I’m not some snobby craft beer dork. I’m a whiskey guy, so Bud Light does me just fine when I drink beer.

2) Bud Light isn’t a heavy beer, so my hope was it wouldn’t make me feel as full as other beers.

3) Bud Light has a relatively low ABV, and since I’m not a big drinker, this works well for me having to consume 9 beers in about 3 hours.

My strategy was to eat all the hotdogs asap and then just focus on drinking a beer an inning.

I finished 3 hot dogs before the first out and by the end of the first inning I had eaten 6 hotdogs and drank 1.5 beers.

By the end of the top of the 2nd inning I had finished all 9 hot dogs and consumed two beers. All I had left to do was to consume 7 beers over the course of the next 7.5 innings.

HOLY SH– I WAS FULL!

I really thought drinking a beer an inning would be easy, but it was a lot harder than I thought because of how full I was from the hot dogs. My wife was a fantastic coach forcing me to drink and stay on pace.

In the end, I did it. I finished my last beer (#9) as the 8th inning ended.

Before I started I weighed myself and then weighed myself again when I was done. Over the course of the 9 innings, I gained over four pounds.

It was worth it.

MY NEXT SHOW

Hey, if you want to see a kick ass show and make it a date night, I’m on the Couples Therapy Comedy Retreat show at the Houston Improv TONIGHT (July 6)!

The show is really cool. The first half is 4 or 5 comics talking about relationships, sex and more. Then we do a panel where we answer audience questions about relationships, sex and more. It’s a blast so you should bring the wife/hubby and make it a date night.

For more info or tickets go to the Houston Improv website.

MORE SPORTS AND STUFF

– Horrible umpire Angel Hernandez is suing MLB over discrimination. He blames Joe Torre for his lack of advancement.

This Bikini is made of pizza, and you can buy it for $10,000.

Two dudes end a street fight Rock and Roll Express style (with a double drop kick), K.O.ing a dude in the process.

– I’ll admit I didn’t even know that Tupac and Madonna were a thing back in 1995, but they were. And here is a letter where he broke up with her to prove it.

Kevin Durant put Swaggy P on blast.

– How much is your favorite NFL team paying players no longer on the roster in 2017? Your Texans make the top 10 (this is not a good thing).

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I feel like I’m about to have a hot dog beer baby”

– Yours Truly, during the 9-9-9 challenge.

HOTTIE OF THE DAY

halle-berry

Halle Berry, just because.

About Barry Laminack (22 Articles)
Talented, funny, handsome, creative, fun to be around, well endowed, great body,smart, liar.

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