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For a day, the Falcon is back…bad jokes, sex teachers, sex robots, sexy Rockets and more: The update for July 13

James Harden. Chris Paul. Is Melo next?

So we have an old school update today. Barry Laminack is off on a comedy tour, so I am filling in.

We will have an update on what has been going on with Falcon World, an HS&S update and some sportsy stuff.

We will start with a joke, since you are accustomed to Barry today,

Q: How do you get a witch pregnant?

A: You f— her.

Sorry.

Falcon update: So you might think I have disappeared from the site. Not at all. I am still very involved. The incomparable Shannon Parker is also running things, and she is a more hip version of me, so…the site is the same. I am particularly proud of our update team, especially our hot females, who also happen to be entertaining as hell. So I can still spot talent.

All that aside, I have been working on three major projects:

Jesus, the movie. We have an agreement on an option to do the movie. If it is not in the works by June 1 of next year I get all rights back and have another deal in place. So it is about to happen.

Jesus, the novel. I now have a terrific agent, and things are finally close. Update soon. I have nine other fiction projects in the works once that is done so bleep is about to get real. Stay tuned.

SportsMap. In case you did not know, Gow Media bought Culture Map. We are launching SportsMap, which will be an off shoot. We have huge plans. It will be in partnership with this site, so we will all be on the same team and it will only make us better. It will be more video/aggregation oriented, but I believe it will be something this city needs. Launch date soon.

Now on with the show…

Sex robot update: My next ex will be a sex robot. This idiot thinks it is a bad idea. I am assuming this dude/chick has never had sex.

Rockets update: Apparently the Rockets are on the “2-yard-line” when it comes to acquiring Carmelo Anthony. (I hope it is not a Seahawks 2-yard-line or J.J. Watt QB 2-yard line). But if it happens…are the Rockets able to compete with the Warriors? Maybe. If everything works. Unlikely, but…

And sex teachers…Had to include this story. Because that is what I do.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I love deadlines,. I love the swooshing sound they make as they fly by.”

— Douglas Adams.

HOTTIE OF THE DAY

No, I am not a hottie. But we always have women in this spot..so this is for my gay friends and women who have no taste…

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