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Rockets for sale, Uhh Hey JJ, some tattoo tips, and more! The update for July 18.

Editor’s note: Houstonsportsandstuff.com is helping sponsor a charity poker tournament at Whitmeyer’s Distillery at 6 p.m. on July 29. It benefits the Touchdown Club of Houston, and entry includes dinner from Demeris and beer from Karbach. There will also be access to all of the great Whitmeyer’s products. Snowman Poker League is running the event. Sign up at by using PayPal attouchdownclub.org. Space is limited so sign up now. It will be a great event for a great cause.

Houston Sports… Les Alexander has decided to put the team up for sale. I read that he bought the Rockets for $85 million dollars and it will likely sell for over $1 billion. I’d say it’s worth it. The man is 4 thousand years old, and he says he wants to sell the team so he can focus on family and his philanthropy. Since Tilman Fertitta’s name came up the second Les announced the sale, I’m going to operate under the assumption that he’s purchasing it. I want to preface this by saying I don’t know how business works but if he buys the Rockets, will he turn it into a Landry’s Inc company? And since my little sister works for Landry’s and gets 50% off of all purchases will we get cheaper tickets to games? These are the important issues that need discussing. I assume a Landry’s restaurant or restaurants will be going into Toyota Center. I’ve spent a lot of time at Landry’s restaurants –  we literally go to a Landry’s restaurant for every special occasion, being that my sister has worked there forever. Not sure if y’all knew this before that anecdote but we didn’t grow up millionaires. I think he should put a McCormick & Schmick’s and either a Landry’s or a Saltgrass. Everyone loves Landry’s but the closest one is in Katy of all places. McCormick & Schmick’s is high end and there’s already a Vic and Anthony’s and a Morton’s downtown. Then he should turn half of the food kiosks into Bubba Gump Shrimp. I know way too much about Landry’s.

The long awaited JJ Watt interview on Pardon My Take finally aired on Monday. It’s a two parter, and Wednesday’s show has promised to include funnier questions. I’ve been singing the praises of Pardon My Take since it started so I won’t do it anymore. A little backstory – Big Cat and PFT Commenter, the hosts, have constantly ribbed JJ for his social media presence and this idea that he’s always “on” acting like a super hero online and in front of the media. They even started a hilarious trend of people flooding JJ’s twitter mentions with #UhhHeyJJ every time he tweeted anything. It sounds dumb, and it is, but it’s hilarious. My take on Watt’s online presence is this – If you have listened to his past interviews, he was heavily influenced by football players as a young kid and I think he tries to emulate that for children and teenagers. I think he acts the way he does because his target demographic is 10 year olds that want to “be just like JJ” and suburban moms with bobs, personalized Yeti tumblers, and cargo capris. The rest of us? Not sure he cares what we think. He even said that he wanted parents and kids specifically to know that if they bought his jersey he wanted them to know they’d be getting everything out of him that he could give. I think he just wants to be loved. Big Cat and PFT have this unique ability to draw humor out of unexpected places and get their subjects to open up and be more human. They really succeeded with Watt. Texans fans are so used to canned media response from players but hearing Watt get asked and answer what he was doing on the night of October 31st, 2005 (the night that Brendan Dassey and Steven Avery allegedly killed Teresa Halbach in Making a Murderer) might have been one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. Anyway – this paragraph wasn’t meant to be a long advertisement for sports/comedy podcast but here we are. If you aren’t already listening to PMT you’re missing out.

The Astros lost last night to the Mariners 9-7 in extras. McCullers didn’t pitch his best game, only making it 4 2/3 innings before being pulled. He allowed 3 runs at home for the first time… EVER. This stat his hilarious.

Also, in case you missed it – Our friend Brien is going to be previewing the Texans roster before the season. Check out his quarterback preview from yesterday and keep an eye out for his running back preview later today.

Also, you can find our weekly Astros round up HERE including a nice wrap up of the All-Star Game which was the most boring sporting event I’ve ever watched.

And stuff… Ann Coulter is a detestable witch of a woman. A legitimate shrew. Everyone hates her. She’s the Lena Dunham of conservative pundits. In a fight between Ann and the airlines who do you think wins? If you guessed airlines, you are RIGHT. Reading tweet after tweet of Ann just berating the airline and everything it stands for was a good way for me to kill half an hour. But then I find out that she paid only THIRTY EXTRA DOLLARS for the seat upgrade! Now we’re cooking with gas. *rubs hands together and cracks neck*. Thirty dollars Ann? Seriously? Was being ethered by an airline that’s universally despised something Ann Coulter thought would happen when she sent this tweet? More importantly, does she care, as she’s just biding time for the gates of hell to open and Satan to call her home?

Today was National Tattoo Day and KPRC asked people to send in their tattoos and who their favorite artists were in the city. I’ve got two full sleeves, so people are constantly coming up to me showing me their terrible tattoos or talking about all of the tattoos they want to get one day. I HATE that. Every one of my friends hates that. Stop doing it. Anyway, usually the tattoos people have that they’re dying to show me look like this:

badtattoo1

or this:

badtattoo2

We need to stop letting people with no skill tattoo us. Some general rules to follow:

  1. If the person’s studio is in their house, RUN. I’m not talking about someone who lives above their shop, or someone who has a legit tattoo studio in their home. I’m saying if you walk into a dude’s bedroom to get tattooed you’ve made a terrible mistake. And you can trust me on this because I have two such tattoos and I’m lucky I don’t have hepatitis. Not to mention they look terrible compared to to the rest of my body.
  2. You absolutely get what you pay for. Most places charge at least $100-$150 an hour for a custom piece. This is a good rate. It sounds expensive but getting tattoos isn’t cheap. Think of this as a piece of art you will have forever, it is going to cost some coin to obtain.
  3. Make damn sure you like the art in the artist’s look book before you commit to them. Again, this is on your body forever.
  4. Shop around. I can’t stress this enough. You absolutely have to be comfortable with your artist. Back in 2012 when I was starting on my arms, I went into three different shops in the Montrose area. At the first two, the artists were assholes. They made me feel stupid and I just generally didn’t like them. Then I walked into Powerhouse Ink (corner of Montrose and Fairview). Amanda, Jason, and at the time Alan, though he works at Shaw’s now, were so nice. They listened to what my friend and I wanted and made it happen. You need an artist who listens to what you want and won’t be an asshole if you ask for changes to the tattoo. But also – keep in mind, these are professionals and if they think something should be placed slightly differently or a certain color won’t look good, trust them.

Quote of the Day

“Success isn’t owned it’s leased and rent is due every day” – JJ Watt. Makes me laugh every time I hear it.

Hottie of the Day

hottattooguy

This was an extremely easy Google search for me to make

 

1 Comment on Rockets for sale, Uhh Hey JJ, some tattoo tips, and more! The update for July 18.

  1. Which of your colorful tattoos is the work of the bedroom tat artist? 🤡

    Like

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