News Ticker

A DH Rant, A Texas law rant, Madden ratings, A lady wants to marry a cow and more! Your July 27 Update.

By BARRY LAMINACK

This week, there are a few things I need to get off my chest.

RANT #1

Let’s start with sports – specifically baseball.

More specifically the DH (or for this argument, the lack of a DH in the National League).

Let me first acknowledge that I know this isn’t a groundbreaking argument and that I’m fully aware it’s been around as long as the DH has. That said, as I sit here watching the Astros and Phillies play “NL” rules, I find myself thinking, WHY?

Why must I be subjected to watching Mike Fiers and Aaron Nola waive their bats around like they are trying to catch butterflies with them? This is not fun baseball. They have both killed rallies already.

And name me another sport where there are different rules applied depending on the league you are in?

Don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE it if the AFC had an “all time QB” rule like we did as a kids (you know, where one kid, usually the one with the best arm, played QB for both teams). How great would that be? It might actually give the Texans a chance at beating the Patriots if Brady is having to throw passes for both sides.

This is a new era in baseball. Most pitchers are specialist that spend most of their time focused on pitching, not hitting, so when they do have to go to the plate it’s a pretty tough watch (except when this happens…which is rare).

If you require stats to back this up, this year pitchers are hitting a whopping .122!

WHY ARE WE BEING FORCED TO WATCH GUYS GET OUT 88% OF THE TIME???

So let’s get rid of the pitcher in the batting order. Along with a more exciting brand of baseball MLB could then do away with the various rules in interleague play, the playoffs, and the world series.

Oh, did I mention the game as a whole would be more fun to watch?

RANT #2

I read this article and it really pissed me off. The headline should have been “This is Total Bullshit, and This Guy Got Screwed Big Time…and the State of Texas is Stupid.”

There is so much bullshit going on in this story I think we need to break it down.

Let’s start with the following fact: “In 2003, a child support court in Houston ruled that Cornejo owed his ex-girlfriend child support because, she claims, there was no way he wasn’t the father. ”

HOLY SHIT! She “CLAIMS”??? No proof here, just her word against his.

As it turns out, he was never there to defend this because he was never served. “He was never served with those documents in 2002 when the actual paternity petition was filed against him.”

No problem though, this is Texas, where a bunch of crusty old ass judges just assume that every person that has a vagina in a custody or paternity hearing is telling the truth.

The article also states that “At the crux of why Cornejo must pay up is Texas’ family code, chapter 161, which states, even if you’re not the biological father, you still owe child support that accrued before the DNA test proves you’re not the father…”

More bullshit. This is a black and white matter. There is no grey area here. Either Cornejo is or is not the father. If he isn’t, he shouldn’t be required to pay for a kid that isn’t his, THE ACTUAL FATHER SHOULD. Period. Any argument you want to list below contrary to this will be ignored because there is no wiggle room here. If you are the father, YOU are responsible for the kid, period.

Get your shit together Texas.

MORE SPORTS AND STUFF

This video showing rookies guessing and reacting to their Madden rating is pretty funny.

This dumbass lady wants to marry a cow because she thinks it’s her reincarnated husband. I bet the cow/guy is like, “I finally die and get away from her, only to come back as a cow – which is fine by the by, because I’m a cow so all I really do is eat and poop, kind of like my life as a husband. But nooooo, my dipshit former wife somehow finds me and now wants to get married again?!?! I can’t catch a fucking break!”

– Finding somebody living in my attic, like this lady did, is a real fear I have.

– A group of protestors got mad and threw a dudes fish back in the water because the fish was suffering.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Bad laws are the worst sort of tyranny.” – Edmund Burke

HOTTIE OF THE DAY

LadyJustice

Lady Justice

About Barry Laminack (28 Articles)
Talented, funny, handsome, creative, fun to be around, well endowed, great body,smart, liar.

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