Thank goodness it’s a day past sobriety Tuesday. Good morning Wednesday!
LIVE from Holly’s World: How’s NFL training camp going? Some key factors from Week 1…
• LeVeon Bell doesn’t care about you Pittsburgh. (Just kidding, kind of. The hold out is still in place. No surprise here.)
• Nelson Agholor apparently is catching the ball. Why is everyone in Philly so excited to see this? (Congrats on doing what we pay you millions to do, homie.)
• Andrew Luck is still babying his shoulder… Arm… Elbow… Whatever it was that he had surgery on. (It’s the AFC South so who really cares?)
• The Texans still have no O Line… (And Bill O’Brien.)
• The Mariota/Winston comparison saga continues. (Team Winston over here. I’m anti ANYTHING Chip Kelly ever touched.)
And to think, I didn’t even need to exercise credentials to bring you guys these exciting breaking news headlines from camps across the U.S.
OK, I was just bored and needed to keep your attention… Continue…
What’s more irrelevant than camp and preseason? Division winning predictions! Of course, I’ll share mine with you guys. So glad that you asked!
AFC EAST – Patriots – Because Bill Belichick is a genius and was sent from God himself. In fact, he’s probably Jesus’ step brother or something cool.
AFC NORTH – Steelers – I still see Super Bowl potential here. One of my favorite offenses to watch, no doubt. I love Big Ben. I love AB. I love Bell and his weed. And I love Tomlin.
AFC SOUTH – Titans – I almost want to say Houston but I’m bored with 9-7 and I’m liking the talent the Titans have this season. Good FA moves and draft picks. Mariota has weapons now and they’ve cleaned up the messy pieces affecting them last season.
AFC WEST – Raiders – This is one of the toughest for me because the battle between Oakland and KC can go either way. I love what KC has to offer but they never seem to finish the job. And they’re OK with that. That’s an issue. Reminds me of my ex… Which is why he never flourished.
NFC EAST – Giants – *barf* Hurt me to type that. Unless the Cowgirls manage to snag a cheat game in their rigged stadium… (Don’t pretend that y’all forgot that the sun just HAPPENS to shine at the right time into opponents eyes at AT&T Stadium)
Let’s be serious for a minute, minus Eli… the NYG have an all-around stacked team. If they don’t take this division they will go down in shame bell history.
NFC SOUTH – Buccaneers – Winston is really growing on me. And this defense doesn’t get enough credit. I’m expecting to see a big year from Kwon Alexander. Adding D Jack and a new tight end for Winston to play with only sweetens the deal. All I have to worry about now is that giant good luck bird the Falcons have in front of their new stadium.
NFC WEST – Cardinals – I know you all want to scream Seahawks but I’m going out on a limb here and rolling with Palmer. It’s the last season in the NFL for a lot of these guys. Besides, let’s not mention all of the money I lost parlaying with them last year. Pretty sure Fitzgerald received my mybookie receipts attached to the hate mail I sent off. Winning is the least they can do for me.
NFC NORTH – Packers – You know what they say, never bet against Rodgers. I love what the Vikings are doing. BUT. I also remember watching them kick ass, then mid-season falling apart right before our eyes. (My Eagles knocked off their winning streak in case y’all forgot) I also remember watching the Packers struggle and look god awful but lo and behold… Rodgers brought them back to life and carried them deep into the sunset… I mean, playoffs. He’s so romantic!
I like fights on the field but the Patriots don’t. My money is on the youngster.
Shame bell No.1
Partying too hard? Both of these NFL players cards declined… Credit cards… but I assume their player cards took a hit too when this story broke…
Shame bell No.2
The Cowgirls get fined AGAIN this season for having too many players suspended already. Keep up the good work Jerry!
Shame bell No.3
Hottie of the Day:
…Because our Astros are killing it… And you know how much I love hotdogs…