By HOLLY XO
Me. If I would have made it to Walmart on Sunday… #Goals
Let me just tell y’all how excited I was to watch the Giants beat the Cowboys Sunday night. Let me ALSO just tell y’all how absolutely none of that happened. In fact…
1:17am. It’s freezing and I’m half naked. Nope, this isn’t an episode of Survivor… or is it? Just me waking up from a drunk coma crawling in search of water, so dehydrated that I’m unaware of my location. Who fell asleep on the living room floor? That would be me, adulting. And missing SNF.
LMAO: I know you guys are SO tired of hearing how crappy your Texans looked but suck it up buttercup. Here at Houston Sports and Stuff, we all get a shot at O’Brien. Five Texans have concussions, yet good ‘ol Bill is perfectly fine. Weird. What’s NOT fine? That invisible O Line. Okay, I’ll take it easy and leave it at that. Unless you think your heart can take more, full Week 1 recaps here.
Special shout out: To Denver, the NY Jets and Atlanta… who ALL managed to screw me backwards by .5 on my lines. I hope if Home Depot doesn’t pick OBrien up first, that his next job will be as one of your teams’ head coach. I also hope that Cleveland gets their one season win against one of you.
Astros: Have been pulling a typical Houston on all of us. But hey, as Houstonians are we really surprised? Have no fear, I’ll be at Minute Maid this weekend to rub my good voodoo all over our boys. By this, I simply mean I’ll be behind the visitors dug out trying to use my A 1/2 cup cleavage to distract Cano. Expect a win over the Mariners Saturday, Holly style.
Dynamo: Aren’t winning either.
On the bright side: The Rockets have NOT taken a loss this week!
Well. That’s a wrap in Houston Sports for today. If you’re not depressed yet, just re read my post all over again.
My obsession, better known as David Johnson is out for 2-3 months. To everyone in my fantasy leagues that stole him from me, this is for you. (Well, not YOU Shannon because I’m totally team Ovarian Olympics)
Shame bell No. 1
I don’t know, maybe the Rockets should pick up RGIII… Since we’re known to make casual STUPID, sportsy mistakes here in the H.
Shame bell No.2
Because Florida is always in our thoughts… And this is totally a Holly move…
Shame bell No. 3
Hottie of the Day: