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NFL Week 3 Misery Index

Someone once said consistency is they key to writing. I don’t know who said it but I do know I have failed at that.  You may (or may not) remember that couple of weeks ago I wrote football misery index highlighting the worst place to watch a football game during that week. My plan was to make it a weekly feature, but I didn’t even make it to week 2 before I failed with the above-mentioned consistency thing.  I’ve re-committed myself and now I’m back for week 3 and hopefully for the rest of the season so lets get to it.

Today may be the first day of fall but the weather will not behave accordingly on Sunday. Except for the Chiefs-Chargers and Cowboys-Cardinals contests every game this week will be played east of the Mississippi.  An area of high pressure, often called a ridge, is parked over the eastern half of the nation which will cause that area to bake during this first weekend of fall.  This ridge will have one benefit though – it will keep Hurricane Maria out in the Atlantic and away from the east coast.


Forecast temperates for 1pm Sunday. Hot for eastern half of country. Map courtesy of

Save for L.A. (has no weather), Phoenix (dome), and the Ravens-Jags game in London, every game site will see temperatures between 80 and 90 degrees during game time on Sunday. With such consistency (there’s that word again) across the board it was tough for me to pick a place that stands out as the most miserable to watch a game.  After looking through the schedule a number of times it finally struck me. The schedule itself, not the weather, provided the answer. The most miserable place to watch a game won’t even be outside, rather it will be inside the domed Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis.

The poor souls in there may escape the heat outside but will be subjected to quite possibly the worst matchup of the season: Browns vs. Colts.  I’m sure this game is being shown in a secret CIA prison as an interrogation tool to extract information from terrorists. Having to watch this game probably makes waterboarding seem like a pleasant jaunt through the sprinklers. Those who spent money on tickets to this game would likely see a better return on their investment if they sent that money to the Nigerian prince who emailed them for help. The only thing sadder than this game is that there will likely be more people there than there will be at the Chargers game in L.A. The best thing about Browns-Colts is that when I think about the starting quarterbacks the first things that come to mind are food products.  Keep these fans in your thoughts, they are going to have a truly miserable day.

Kaiser roll

DeShone Kizer


Jacoby Brisket… I mean Brissett

Misery Index Rating:☹☹☹☹


Follow me on twitter @stephenuzick

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