Me. Except I finally broke up with my fake boyfriend last week…
…It’s a good thing too, because this weekend was a wreck. I would love to share it with you, however, it’s not even appropriate for the readers here at Houston Sports and Stuff. I am ashamed. Let’s just say it ended with jail time and a famous quote about “division winning lady parts” in the bedroom. Don’t worry though, I have survived another weekend and made it safely back to you guys.
NFL: Well, it’s official. Everyone is dead. And by dead, I mean sitting pretty on the IR list. We are literally being entertained by the league’s second and third string athletes. I almost didn’t even want to watch Kelce score Monday night for fear that he may break his hip hitting whatever popular new dance move he did. We’re just going to call this 2017 season a wrap and meet back here… same time, same day next season.
I would break down the Week 4 games for you, but I did that already. Here.
FANTASY: Is greater than real life for NYG fans. How amazing is it that the NYG are tied with the Niners and the Browns? Let us all take a moment to reflect on what we thought was going to be this superb, over the top, SB potential team. Ever wonder what 2.7 trillion dollars wasted looks like? See: The NYG defense.
TEXANS: You killed Mariota and my division predictions of the Titans. On a good note, at least I can enjoy a free mixer for my vodka… Sonic is still offering those slushies after wins, right? Go Watson! (I figure you guys would accept me if I told you what you wanted to hear).
MLB: I am almost 92% sure that the ‘Stros are still holding it down here in the H for us. You know who is 100% sure? Chris.
NBA: The word on the streets is that the National Boring Assoc. is back in business. *sigh* I feel like basketball is a never ending sport. If you want all the LATEST and up to date NBA coverage………… Don’t read Wednesday’s posts here on HS&S.
There are three people who deserve to be shamed this week…
D. Trump… I don’t know why yet, I just feel like he always falls into this category.
R. Goodell… For torturing us with that god awful TNF and SNF attempt of a game.
Yours Truly… (I passed out drunk on my sticky wrist band and ripped off a piece of my spray tan here… One of my fav hangover pics ever).
Quote of the Day: (censored.. and must be said to Cowboys fans only.. preferably during sexual encounters) “How does it feel to be sleeping with division winning (insert vulgar lady part word here)?” – Source unknown but I think she was really drunk
Hottie of the Day:
…I have no idea who she is, but she started following me and hasn’t spammed me with porn yet…