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Recapping the NFL, vodka, Telemundo, the Astros and more: The update for Oct. 18

Me at work with a line on my face from my weekend wristband and a half glued on eyelash. The smell of success… and vodka.

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Warning: The following mini recaps are done by a female… who’s capable of reading your basic b— routes.

First off, I would like to announce that my Eagles will be attending your 2018 SB. In case you missed that amazing (best game of the ENTIRE season so far) TNF game, the Eagles put Cam to sleep. You can’t run from this D! Too far?… Gotcha. Wentz for President!

Texans? I mean, what do you guys want me to say? Watson is your future… But you played the worst franchise in the league. Sorry, but no one gets credit for beating the Browns and their 17th starting QB of the season. Enjoy your Papa John’s pizza and that tied 3-3 spot in the AFC South.

Let’s take a live look at Green Bay… Rodgers is dead. Along with the bank accounts of everyone who parlayed this game.

Someone tell Cutler I owe him a pack of smokes for bringing my spreads back to life. I may have taken the under dogs here and… Won! *evil grin*

I have a question for Baltimore Ravens fans… How do you describe your team? Like… Are you guys decent? Are you trash? You’re more up and down than me on my… never mind. Yuck. (That’s in reference to the Ravens, not my woman comment).

Look who’s risen from the dead! The trillion dollar NYG defense, that’s who! Who needs receivers when your defense shows up to pick off every other pass Denver threw?! Don’t let all the exclamation points fool you, I still wasn’t impressed with this snooze fest game.

I’d LOVE to give you guys highlights from the overly exciting MNF game, but I was busy catching up on my Telemundo soap operas. Kate Del Castillo > Jacoby Brissett

I decided Friday that I was going to save money and cut out certain monthly bills. I chose my eyelash membership and my cable. I also called everyone back on Monday morning to re activate my accounts because clearly I’m out of my damn mind thinking I can live without life’s necessities. It’s obvious that I have to cut back on something stupid like groceries or gas.

Shame bell No. 1 for me…

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You know who else deserves a shame bell? Anything/Anyone that reeks of Dallas Cowboys…

Shame bell No. 2

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Sorry Astros… I love our boys but what in the holy hell was that on Monday?? And Tuesday?

Shame bell No. 3

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Hottie of the Day:

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Told you she was way more interesting to watch than Brissett…

 

About Holly (34 Articles)
Football guru/Professional MNF shit talker Welcome to Holly's world🏈💋 #FlyEaglesFly 🦅 Instagram this @hollysworldxo

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