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More drunken escapades, sexy aliens, NFL trades, soccer matters (sort of) and shames all around: The update for Nov. 1

I really have to quit drinking. This is the second NFL weekend in a row where I died Saturday night and didn’t come back to life until I stumbled into my office Monday morning. Pretty much missing all of football.

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I had a mission in College Station this weekend and I am sad to report that I failed. I am even sadder to report that so did Coach Sumlin. I was an alien that was mistaken for a superhero and the Aggies got their asses handed to them by Mississippi State. Again.

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(I did not carefully glue on each glow stick for hours to be confused with a weak ass super hero *side eye*)

Present Day: I hope that by the tonight you will be partying in the streets of downtown because we will be World Series Champs. It’s the least our guys can do for us since we’ve been pulling all-nighters in these nerve killing games. Pretty sure the entire city of Houston has aged a few years just in the past week alone. GO ASTROS!

Soccer still kind of matters: With all of the crazy sports happening in this city, it’s highly UNlikely that you guys have paid attention to the Dynamo. I mean, hello! They ARE in the playoffs too. Barely. The Dynamo tied 0-0 with the Portland Timbers Monday night. They are scheduled to play in Portland this weekend to see who advances. Side note: We suck on the road. Go figure.

Trade Deadline: Since Brien touched on the trades already, I’ll keep this short and sweet. Well this was fun! I’d like to welcome our 17th running back to Philadelphia. My Eagles are making moves… while Miami tanks and throws us freebies, per usual.

The most interesting trade? Jimmy Garappolo to the Niners. Getting traded to the Niners from the Pats is like getting kicked out of heaven on a VIP pass to hell. Poor (and sexy) Jimmy… Enjoy lots of sacks and the city where the sun never shines.

Speaking of no sunshine, I think Seattle scooped up that one guy who forgot to come to work all season in Houston. As far as I’m concerned, any player that leaves his team hanging for 7 weeks isn’t worth saving anyway. Safe travels Duane!

My ESPN alert just went off… Disregard the previous comment about the most interesting trade. Bills get Kelvin Benjamin?! For a 3rd and 7th pick? STEAL. The Bills have picks galore so this was easy pie. Things just got interesting…

Let the shaming begin…

Can anyone figure out what’s wrong with this prescription bottle my coworker picked up yesterday? Guess the pharmacist was sleep deprived from the World Series too.

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Shame bell No.1

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Because no one likes the Pats anyway… Security in Foxborough refused to let this LA Chargers player bring a kid fan on the field

Shame bell No. 2

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The 2017 NFL season is officially halfway done with. I would like to personally award the following teams with a shame bell trophy.

Oakland Raiders – This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Tampa Bay – You should be fined for tricking us all into believing in you. We had such high hopes. High school Varsity teams > TB

Dallas Cowgirls*evil grin*

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Hotties of the Day:

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Because when your team is 7-1 and the best team in the NFL, you can post your cheerleaders… #FLYEAGLESFLY

About Holly (34 Articles)
Football guru/Professional MNF shit talker Welcome to Holly's world🏈💋 #FlyEaglesFly 🦅 Instagram this @hollysworldxo

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