I’m Disco Biscuit and my favorite baseball team won the World Series last week. Here’s the scene inside 8th Wonder Brewery right after they played “We Are the Champions” – where we watched game 7.
I woke up Thursday morning with a smile on my face so bright that I thought nothing could dim it. Out late watching the game, I let Baby Biscuit take the day off of school. We woke up late, I watched more highlights from the game, looked at the pictures and videos me and my friends took, we went to Academy to get our gear. Everything was perfect. And then, about 3:45 I was scrolling through Twitter, saw this, and the light left my eyes:
I”m devastated. Deshaun Watson playing quarterback was the lone bright spot on this team. Before this season we’d had to endure Fitzpatrick, Mallett, Hoyer, OSWEILER, Savage, the list goes on and on. We had hope in the palm of our hand and then it just disappeared like ashes in the wind. There are many people we can blame. Was it MY fault? I had missed football for the first time in my life the Sunday before to go to RenFest. Was it Lamont’s fault? He tweeted this before the Astros won Wednesday:
Or, was it God’s fault? Are we cursed? We had less than 24 hours to celebrate the greatest thing that has ever happened to this city.
The NFL Network wants to know if the Texans are still a playoff team after Deshaun’s injury. Are you kidding me!? They’re barely a professional football team for God sakes! The game on Sunday was so bad I actually left the bar I was at because I couldn’t bring myself to spend another dime on beer watching the atrocities taking place on the field. Watching the Texans feels like living through that scene in a Clockwork Orange where Alex has to watch horrible, disturbing videos while they hold his eyelids open with tweezers and apply eye drops every few minutes.
The Rockets are off to a hot start, jumping out to a Western Conference best 8-3. I’m sure that won’t last, but it’s a good way to take our minds off this horrendous football team a while longer. James Harden now has the 5th most points in Rockets history after he scored FIFTY SIX points on Monday night. Absurd.
Papa John is pulling NFL advertising because the protests have hurt sales. This is easily my favorite non-sports but still sorta sportsy story out there right now. First of all Papa John, ratings are barely down. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you actively boycott watching football simply because players are kneeling you are a mongoloid and I’m laughing at you. You’re only hurting yourself. Why on earth would you stop watching something you love because of something that takes place for two minutes BEFORE THE GAME HAS EVEN STARTED. The issue isn’t players kneeling, or linking arms, or putting fists in the air, it’s the fact that media outlets insist on giving us up to the second coverage on who is kneeling or standing. I want that job. Someone please pay me to watch every NFL game and simply tweet out who stood and who knelt. Also Papa John, sales of your pizza are down because is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever eaten in my life and I ate ox brain in Indonesia once. In the most 2017 twist to a story of all time, Papa John’s is now the defacto pizza of Nazi’s and he has had to come out and ask them not to buy his pizza.
Biscuit Fantasy update:
We’re back in the win column folks!
Quote of the Day:
“It’s not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it’s also a personal statement about the band itself.” – The GOAT Patrick Bateman, American Psycho
Hottie of the Day: